In which I become economical with my effort (translation: lazy) and post a whole bunch of posts in one post

So what I've noticed recently that I've been posting less and less. It's got nothing (ok, maybe a little) to do with the lack of exciting things that are going on in my life and a lot with my lack of willingness to expend effort in typing up short posts right after whatever exciting things that happened. I have no problem typing them in one huge post. So here goes the collection of possibly short posts.
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I am accused of being Un-Australian by my own sister
Gee, controversy on my blog! Gee, the drama! The Alarmist called me un-Australian because I typed "mom" instead of "mum".

I am an Australian last time I checked. I've got a piece of paper with my old name on it which says that I'm an Australian citizen. However, before I am an Australian, I am an Asian. I'm an Asian-Australian. What does that mean you might ask, well that means Pauline Hanson hates my ass and I have a quality that possibly all Asians are born with: being stingy economical.

This post is a testament to the innate thriftiness, I'm being thrifty economical with my effort. Too bad I can't be economical with my spendings. I was being economical with my effort with the "mom" thing as well. If you can touch type you'll probably know that you use your right index finger to press both the keys for the letters M and U. Now look down at your keyboard and note the position of those keys. They're on different rows. To type "mum" your index finger has to travel from "m" all the way to "u" and then back to "m" again. That's a lot of distance to travel. In the case of typing "mom" your index finger doesn't even have to move from the "m" key as the "o" is pressed by the ring finger. So it's faster to type "mom" than to type "mum".

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Drinkin 2 litres of water a day can prevent lots of condition
So I've just started working casually recently and one of many gems I've picked up lately is drinking water is good for you. Apparently it does wonders to your skin, prevent constipation (as long as you eat lots of fibre together with drinking lots of water) haemorrhoids (what is it you may ask, trust me, it's something you rather not have. Ever.) and urinary tract infection.
See the wonders of water? 2 litres per day, no less.

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WTF moment of the week: Love Seat Toilet
On a related note to the above advice on water consumption, let's talk about toilets. My sister found this thing randomly and my thought was "what the hell?"

Why anyone on this rapidly-becoming-less-green earth would want to kiss while doing number 1 or number 2 for that matter escapes me. Maybe they likes the smell? Some people have messed-up fetishes, remember the 2 girl one cup thing? I rest my case.

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WBC nuts planned to picket the funeral of Heath Ledger
According to the following flyer, these nuts are serious about this.

I hope some Ledger's fans kick their ass, literally. What the heck is picketing at someone's funeral gonna achieve? I hope someone with enough time to spare comes up with a group that picket at every picketing events these WBC nuts' are gonna do. Show them how it feels to have an annoying group of loud mouths constantly irritating them.

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Recommended movies
Last week I saw 3 movies in cinema on 3 consecutive days, the most I've seen in one week. Some recommendations:

Juno
Awesomely cute movie. It's got nominated for a bunch of Oscars too so you won't feel guilty for seeing a sort-of teen flick. After that go buy the equally awesomely cute soundtrack.

American gangsters
I thought this was good. I usually don't like movies based on real events but this one is quite enjoyable.

No country for old men
I was excited to see this movie as I read book. Speed read actually which was why the ending didn't make much sense and I was being economical with my effort yet again and didn't go back to re-read to make sense. The movie didn't clarify much for me. It's a good thriller. Read the book first though.

Some other movies I saw on DVD last week that's worth mentioning:

Thank you for smoking
Very funny movie by the director of Juno. Watch it and gain a new appreciation for spin doctors.

Superbad
First time I saw the trailer I thought that the movie was dumb and the title for the movie actually described the content. I waited until last week to check out the movie. I still think that it's a dumb movie, so do the American Pie movies, being a dumb movie doesn't mean that it can't be funny. Watch it if you absolutely don't have anything else to watch or if you feel that Michael Cera didn't get a big enough role in Juno.

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Quotes
What's more funny than out-of-the-context quotes hey?

"He was so gay, I couldn't look at him straight".
- My friend, Umbrella, on a possibly gay teacher in our high school.

"So that's what you get from having sex with your pets."
- The Alarmist, after finding out that you can get Tinea from your pets and there's a disease called Tinea of the groin.

There are moments when your brain goes W.T.F really dramatically slowly and that has just happened to me. Twice

First WTF moment happened to me when I read the plot summary for a movie called "Jack & Diane". Ok, normal, even boring title: check; relatively well known actress: check (Ellen Page played that Kitty chick in X-men 3. There is no reason why this movie would make me go WTF really dramatically slowly with exclamation mark after each word. Until I read the summary that is.

Jack and Diane, two teenage lesbians, meet in New York City and spend the night kissing ferociously. Diane's charming innocence quickly begins to open Jack's tough skinned heart. But, when Jack discovers that Diane is leaving the country in a week she tries to push her away. Diane must struggle to keep their love alive while hiding the secret that her newly awakened sexual desire occasionally turns her into a werewolf.

Werewolf is cool (think Underworld people), teenage might be fun (think American Pie), lesbian can be intense (think Monster) but toss those 3 words together you get the WTF moment of the day. Really, this sounds like plot for a tasteless movie.

Next, Britney's back. That in itself is already a WTF moment already. I thought her career's dead already. But she's back with a new album which leaked on the net last week, apparently it's good, I need to hunt down one copy to see it for myself. Back to the point. Take a look at this cover for Britney's new single.

I'm not sure if it's the official cover or just some fan's mad photoshop skills at work but that is really WTF material. I'm just shocked that she would actually do this. Plus, that can't be her real hair. Expect Britney boycott from churches around the world this October-November period.

Monday tid bits

If you haven't noticed yet, change of template yet again. You might think that nothing changed much but the experience resembled what you would feel sitting in a toilet after a week or more of taking Panadeine following wisdom teeth extraction (I was trying to figure a cooler way to say "pain in the ass" and I arrived at "pain in the rectum" or "bad case of constipation". I am just so original). For someone who doesn't know a whole lot about codes I'm doing OK.

Today's WTFs taken straight out of TheAge:
Gay republicans. Is this some sort of oxymoron? This is from the article about a senator quitting over men's room sex scandal. So people really do hit on other people in the toilet, I thought that is some sort of porn myth.

Remind me why did the Korean missionaries go to Afghanistan in the first place? Because I thought that what missionaries do is try to convert other people to their religion right? What's the point of going to Afghanistan to convert people when there are still people in Korea that are not Christian?

There about 9 million Protestants and 5.5 million Catholics in this country of 49 million people.

Why go to a foreign country when there are 34.5 million people waiting to be converted at home? These missionaries are daft in more ways than one.

Awesome band names:

• Holy Fuck. I'm being serious, there is a band called Holy Fuck and their music is really good, fits the name. If the goal of a band's name is to attract listeners then this is probably the best name ever. It worked on me, I checked out this band only on the merit of their awesome name. Is there a band called Holy Shit?
  
• Streptococci in chains. A band name I thought up during a lecture. Does this name make you wanna go: "holy fuck, that is one bad name"?

Random microbiology fact:
Streptococci are Gram positive cocci which are usually in chains.

Music video of the week

There are 2 ways for a music video to make it to my 'music video of the week' post. It can either completely blow my mind away by its brilliance, which is a very rare event. Or it can be one big fat WTF. Guess how this next clip makes it to this post.

Editors - An end has a start


There is music that you can dance to and there is music that you can't. I guess this one belongs to the latter. It's an awesome track from an album that I like but this music video is just too fracking creepy. It's not the music, it's not the weird stretching routine the main singer did during the song, it's not even the strange the lighting or the really strange stripe t-shirt the guitarist wore, it's the dancing. It looks like something some zombies from "28 Days later" would do if they're high on whatever zombies get high on, probably blood. The makeup on those dancer didn't help either.

Dude, where's my tree?

Some asshole stole a tree from my front yard. I'm serious. Said asshole must have thought he was so cool, stealing trees from other people's front yard and dumping the trees on their neighbour's font yard. Actually, the tree-stealing asshole didn't actually steal our tree, more like uprooted the our Japanese maple from our front yard.

My parents were going "what the fuck" since they paid for that tree and they had to dig a hole in the front yard to plant that tree. Do you know how hard it is to dig a hole? Even a small one for a tiny Japanese maple. It's pretty freaking hard. First you have to get rid of all the grass & weeds which have really deep tangled roots, and then you have to dig the hole which is the harder part. Anyhow, my parents were going what the? And then they went through the mourning period of 2 hours, and then they went for a walk during which they spotted the Japanese maple that they had spent the past 2 hours mourning over in our neighbour's front yard. We replanted the poor maple but right now we don't really know if it's dead or alive since it doesn't have any leaves (it's winter here) at the moment.

And that, my friends, is the highlight of the weekend beside Harry Potter and the freezing house. Not a very good weekend after all. I mentioned somewhere in my last post that the heating system in my house went down on the coldest day since 2000 right? And I spent that night reading Harry Potter right? Without heating right? Right. I've been having a cold, a sore throat and a fucking headache which paracetamol can't cure for the whole day. So in my infinite wisdom, I decided that there's no point trying to study or do something that would need brain cells right? Right,I went to listen to Tool's "10,000 days". Bad bad BAD decision. I've given up Tool for now after going through a third of the album. Note to self: never listen to anything heavy when having a headache.

does it really need to be this drastic?

A video my sister came across on youtube. I don't know what she was looking for when she found this video but definitely not looking for glue to make double eyelids. Oh man, those Japanese women are crazy for double eyelids. I never really understand why, maybe just because I was born with double eyelids. Enjoy.

Book browsing

I went to see "Ocean's Thirteen" yesterday however, the movie wasn't the highlight of the evening. It was the time spent in Borders waiting and browsing books that was more interesting. I ended up buying 2 CDs and found 2 books that look quite promising. The first one is "God is not great" by Christopher Hitchens. The other one is "The Atheist Manifesto" by Michel Onfray. What's with the religion bashing books huh? I didn't buy any of those since I still haven't quite finished "The God delusion" yet.

Another book that caught my attention was "Everybody Hurts: An Essential Guide to Emo Culture". It almost won the 'what the f*** book of the day' award had it not been for the metal clad bible I saw 5 minutes later. The guide to emo culture book is really a guide to emo culture. I thought it was satirical but no, it's a straight and narrow guide to how to be cool and yet so uncool at the same time. What I can say about that is, make up your damn mind. Do you want to be cool or uncool?

While we're still on the topic of emo. Let me introduce you to Emo Google. It's Google with an all black emo finish. It gives you the exact results as the normal Google, (sorry, no emo related search results yet) with the benefit of a seriously ugly black background on the main page to hurt your eyeballs and visual cortex.


The metal bible however was hilarious. So much so that I had to take some pictures of it.
The obvious question that popped into my head when I saw these metallic beauties above was "What can you possibly do with a metal bible?". I came up with an answer for that as well. Imagine this:

You are a proud owner of metal bible, you love it so much you bring it with you everywhere because really, you like to have a bible with you at all time and a normal leather bound volume can't withstand the stress and strain of being bounced around in your bag with mobile phones and all the other unholy modern crap like coins, keys and credit cards (but seriously, don't bring it with you all the time, the bible alone is heavy enough, add the extra hard metal cover it's as heavy as a four 30-gig ipods). One day you encounter a mugging and you decided that you will dissuade the mugger to give up his evil deeds by some cleverly chosen passages from your metal clad bible. (In my honest opinion, you gotta be crazy to think that but hey there are some crazy people running around all the time). But surprise surprise the mugger doesn't appreciate old sacred writ and turns the knife on you instead. What are you gonna do now? You have the perfect weapon in your hand. If holy words can't dissuade the mugger, heavy metal applied straight to the head can at least knock him out and give you enough time to run.


This is a shot of the back of said bible. Strange how people say that you can find answers in the bible. I was at a crossroad of sort the other day during my exam. I was stuck on one question: Is Atenolol a beta agonist or is it a beta antagonist. I went home and try to look that up in the bible, guess what? It doesn't give out that sort of answer, it doesn't even give you any direction to where you can find the answer. I propose that we change the saying that "answers can be found in the bible" to "relatively reliable answers can be found on Wikipedia" instead.

WTF moment of the week

I usually don't reveal plots of movies that I've seen on my blog but I'll make an exception for this one: The Wicker Man. This movie makes me mad. So mad that it makes the my WTF moment of the week. Even over 300. Even over the incidence in which my jacket got blessed.

Since I've got a week of holiday for Easter, I went on a rented-movie marathon, a video games marathon, and a whole day of reading fictions. Anyhow, The Wicker Man was in the marathon and it was one horrible movie.

First, it's a thriller that has no thrills. It's completely transparent that you can see the plot from the moment Nicholas Cage's character stepped on the damn island. An island?? Any horror/thriller that involves an island, there's got to be some psycho involved.

However, what pissed me off about this movie were not the above. They were:

• The island people have this whole matriarchal society thing going on and it's quite refreshing to see a reversal of what usually goes on in normal society. Men on the island were breeding stocks and second-class citizens. That was fun to watch but they had to go and turn all those women into homicidal, sacrifice-killing, man-burning pagans. Why why why?!
• Nicholas Cage's character died in the end. It would be ok with me, if he managed to stop all those crazy pagans and died in the effort. But he died and didn't make any difference. His death was completely gratuitous. The homicidal pagans go on luring men to their island to kill and I wasted 100 minutes of watching this and nothing is resolved. I hate it when movies end like this.