The exam results came out today. I'm not entirely happy with them but hey I pass everything and get to keep my meagre and more-anxiety-that-it's-worth scholarship for another year. I guess some celebration is in order. More happy, summery music.
I got my exam results. This is sort of a bi-annual thing for me. Every year I get nervous the day I get my results. I don't get nervous as much before the exams or during the exams, only before I get the results. And every year when I finally get my results it's like a huge lump of fat just got removed from my coronary artery. Not that I ever had any fat removed from any of my arteries but if I do, I imagine that it would feel like receiving news that you've just made it for another semester.
So after a few minutes of utter elation (really, I thought I failed 2 subjects, they turned out to be the highest scoring subjects and the subjects that I thought I would do really well in turned out to have the shittiest marks of the bunch), reality sets in. I guess I can never be too happy with myself. Compare to last year this year's results is fucking shit. My grades are going downhill with every new semester. For instance, first semester of 1st year: huge results, 2 HDs and 3 Ds; second semester: not so good, 4Ds and 1C; first semester of 2nd year: 3 Ds and 2 Cs. At this rate I'll get 2 Ds and 3 Cs next semester. I don't know why I want good results that bad. Ok, I do know why. I blame it on Asian parents putting too much emphasis on getting straight As in primary and secondary schools. I guess I should just concentrate on celebrating just making a D average again and managing to keep my scholarship for yet another semester. Seriously, this scholarship business is giving me too much pressure and anxiety.
Now this is becoming an annoying tradition. Last semester it was a real relief when I found out that I passed all my exams. This semester, well I'm kinda pissed off. Stupid exam results don't reflect anything. The subject I spent the least amount of time on got the highest score. The subject I spent most of my time studying got a near fail. What the hell?
Well, at least I can actually go and tear all my notes to shreds now that I'm sure I don't have to resit any exams. So long sucky notes!
Yeah. I pass. I've been brooding and dreading these past 3 week because I knew I did shit on my exams. There were more at stakes than just passing and not having to resit the damn exams. My scholarship was at stake here. I need credits for everything. And after the exams, PP in particular, I was damn near a panic attack.
Forget VCE, I've had more stress these past few weeks than I've ever had during the whole goddamn stressful year 12. The scholarship was supposed to make me feel less stress, not more! Forget with power comes responsibility, 3vil g3nius says with free money comes stress.
So I passed. Ha ha, I passed, everything was above 70% so I get to keep my scholarship and get to have more stress at the end of the year. However, I'm happy.
The results are supposed to be out tomorrow noon but I checked tonight anyway and my heart was beating like I'm being chased by a godzilla. Waiting for the damn results to load was a real adrenalin releasing experience if you ask me.
Now I can go to bed stress free. Am I happy or what?
Ok, got my ENTER, it's 98.95. I'm a little pissed off about the Enter. Why can't I get another .05???? Not exactly brilliant in general but there was some brilliant raw scores (in my opinion).
Anyway, I can't care anymore, this is like a ton of weight off my shoulders. Never again do I have to be this nervous.
I don't give a damn anymore.
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