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Showing posts with label what-the?. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

does it really need to be this drastic?


A video my sister came across on youtube. I don't know what she was looking for when she found this video but definitely not looking for glue to make double eyelids. Oh man, those Japanese women are crazy for double eyelids. I never really understand why, maybe just because I was born with double eyelids. Enjoy.

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Showing posts with label what-the?. Show all posts

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Book browsing


I went to see "Ocean's Thirteen" yesterday however, the movie wasn't the highlight of the evening. It was the time spent in Borders waiting and browsing books that was more interesting. I ended up buying 2 CDs and found 2 books that look quite promising. The first one is "God is not great" by Christopher Hitchens. The other one is "The Atheist Manifesto" by Michel Onfray. What's with the religion bashing books huh? I didn't buy any of those since I still haven't quite finished "The God delusion" yet.

Another book that caught my attention was "Everybody Hurts: An Essential Guide to Emo Culture". It almost won the 'what the f*** book of the day' award had it not been for the metal clad bible I saw 5 minutes later. The guide to emo culture book is really a guide to emo culture. I thought it was satirical but no, it's a straight and narrow guide to how to be cool and yet so uncool at the same time. What I can say about that is, make up your damn mind. Do you want to be cool or uncool?

While we're still on the topic of emo. Let me introduce you to Emo Google. It's Google with an all black emo finish. It gives you the exact results as the normal Google, (sorry, no emo related search results yet) with the benefit of a seriously ugly black background on the main page to hurt your eyeballs and visual cortex.


The metal bible however was hilarious. So much so that I had to take some pictures of it.
The obvious question that popped into my head when I saw these metallic beauties above was "What can you possibly do with a metal bible?". I came up with an answer for that as well. Imagine this:

You are a proud owner of metal bible, you love it so much you bring it with you everywhere because really, you like to have a bible with you at all time and a normal leather bound volume can't withstand the stress and strain of being bounced around in your bag with mobile phones and all the other unholy modern crap like coins, keys and credit cards (but seriously, don't bring it with you all the time, the bible alone is heavy enough, add the extra hard metal cover it's as heavy as a four 30-gig ipods). One day you encounter a mugging and you decided that you will dissuade the mugger to give up his evil deeds by some cleverly chosen passages from your metal clad bible. (In my honest opinion, you gotta be crazy to think that but hey there are some crazy people running around all the time). But surprise surprise the mugger doesn't appreciate old sacred writ and turns the knife on you instead. What are you gonna do now? You have the perfect weapon in your hand. If holy words can't dissuade the mugger, heavy metal applied straight to the head can at least knock him out and give you enough time to run.


This is a shot of the back of said bible. Strange how people say that you can find answers in the bible. I was at a crossroad of sort the other day during my exam. I was stuck on one question: Is Atenolol a beta agonist or is it a beta antagonist. I went home and try to look that up in the bible, guess what? It doesn't give out that sort of answer, it doesn't even give you any direction to where you can find the answer. I propose that we change the saying that "answers can be found in the bible" to "relatively reliable answers can be found on Wikipedia" instead.

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Sunday, March 25, 2007

In which I found out I look like a man


Perhaps I haven't been really forthcoming about my gender. But if you read between the lines enough, you will find out that I'm in fact a girl. But then I barely have any readers and my readers barely have time to read the actual lines let alone between the fracking lines. My fault really, I never come out and say that I'm a female.

Whatever, now that that part is over you can understand my amazement when I found out that I look like a man. Do I really look like a man. Granted that I've never really been a girly girl, you know, the type that wears frilly pink skirts and plays with Barbies. And granted that my hair is a bit shorter than what I used to have last year. But to say that I look like a man is a bit of a stretch.

I wouldn't have put this in my blog had it only happened once. However it happened twice in the same week and I don't have anything else to write so there you go. The first time it was this primary kid that I'm tutoring (or sort of tutoring). Funny kid, I showed her how to spell and all for an hour and then she asked me innocently: "Are you a boy or a girl?". At the time, I just thought, "this kid is weird, haven't she seen a girl before?" and before you ask, I didn't wear baggy clothes that day, but I didn't wear pink frilly clothes that day either so the kid's question was very distantly understandable.

Then the second incident happened. I was waiting for my mum, it was fracking hot and I couldn't be bothered getting my ipod out to listen while waiting so I just sat on this bench. And then a mother and her daughter (who's about 5 years old) walked pass and the kid said to her mum: "Look mum it's a man". I was reading a book so I don't know if the stupid kid pointed at me while saying this or not. When I heard that comment, I thought, maybe she was talking about some man exercising around (what is with people exercising in really hot weather anyway?). I sort of felt bad for the kid too coz she delivered that line in the same tone that any kid that age would say "Look mum, it's a tiger" when they see one in a zoo. You know, the kind of tone that implies she has never seen "a man" before and it's the most amazing sight she has ever beheld. But then the mother delivered the punch in a little voice: "it's a lady, not a man".

After I heard that I'm extremely convinced the kid has never seen a fracking man before. How else can she mistake a girl with boobs, albeit not the kind of ballooned boobs the Baywatch chicks all seem to have, for a man????

I went to buy "American Psycho" from Borders the day after that. Everything went normally until I had this um... conversation with the guy behind the checkout.

CHECKOUT GUY:
This might seem like an insult but...
ME: [thinking]
Oh my fracking god, he's gonna ask me if I'm a guy or a girl. Why is that relevant to me buying a book? He looks kinda gay, is he trying to hit on me? No, he doesn't look gay, is he still trying to hit on me? Dammit, I'm gonna complain to his supervisor.
CHECKOUT GUY:
... do you have any ID on you...
ME: [still thinking]
Frack! He's not only trying to find out my gender, he's trying to find out my address too. Shit, I've got a stalker.
CHECKOUT GUY:
... because you have to be over 18 to buy this book.
ME: [able to stop thinking and speak at last]
Yeah.

Stupid guy, he didn't finish the sentence immediately, he left it hanging like that for what seemed like a second. Let me tell you something, there's a lot a person can think in one second. A lot.
What doesn't make sense is why a book can be rated R. OK, I guess books can be rated R too but "American Psycho" was available at my high school for anyone to borrow, regardless of age. And it was an all girl high school too. Damn, way to go messing up young girls' mind.

That's the most memorable thing that happened to me this week. Apart from that it's very much a boring week. An update on celebrity-look-alike lecturer: Betty doesn't look like Betty. Ok, that came out not very right. I mean that Betty the lecturer doesn't look like Betty the Ugly. The only similarity between Betty and Betty is the name Betty. The end.

And to end this post with a multimedia item. Take a look at this horrible movie trailer. Oh, it's a horror movie, not a spoof horror movie. What can they come up next? psychotic Teddy bears? Serial killer ducks?


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Thursday, December 14, 2006

geeky gifts for the devoted


Fresh out of ideas about what to buy for your slightly geeky fundie friends? No worry, you've come to the right place.




Let's go with the really cheap stuff first. Let me introduce you to the iBelieve. It's a replacement cap and lanyard for your iPod shuffle. This thing will turn your sucky gum pack iPod shuffle (old version) into a still sucky iPod shuffle that looks like a cross. Woohoo, we can bring our shuffles into churches and listen to them instead of the service now.
The next item is a real cross-shaped mp3 player. And it even comes in glossy black and chrome plated. I wonder if it comes with preloaded Hillsong songs or an unabridged audiobook version of the Bible? Even better, they should make the Bible audiobook non-removable so that people have to sit through the whole bible before they can listen to their music. That should make the thing much more appealing to the fundie population.

Have this ever happen to you? You download a big-ass 20-something-MB file on a dialup connection, cut and paste the file to your USB drive then your computer refuses to eject the drive safely. Since you refuse to accept that the stupid computer refuses to eject your USB drive, you just pluck the drive out. The result? You have to reformat our USB drive and lose everything. Now you don't have to worry about it anymore, there's a new type of USB drive with a fool-proof plan to prevent just that. Behold, the Virgin USB

See? With just one sentence "oh Maria keep my data safe" you can throw your worries away.
I haven't any luck trying to find this particular USB drive on eBay but if I can get my hands on this I'm gonna try to remove it unsafely to see if I'm gonna lose any data.



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Saturday, December 09, 2006

Blasphemous Santa


Don't bash Santa

Kelly Ryan

December 08, 2006 11:00pm

Article from: The Courier-Mail

A PASTOR has slammed Santa as a counterfeit God who teaches children to be greedy and selfish.

New Life Christian Church's Pastor Steve McNeilly has accused Santa of being a blasphemous stand-in for God who makes liars of parents and causes confusion among children.

The Santa story creates commercial rivalry and encourages materialism and selfishness in children's hearts, he said.

"Santa has usurped the love and devotion and faith of little children," the Warrnambool pastor added.

Mr McNeilly's comments have sparked a storm of protest.

Senior church leaders and a child psychologist described the attack on Father Christmas as absurd and undeserved.

The Catholic Church's Monsegnieur Les Tomlinson said Christmas was a time for parents to teach children the joys of gift-giving.

"What we are celebrating in the birth of Jesus is the manifestation of the infinite love of all humans which is reflected in our concern for the needy and the sharing with others," Monsegnieur Tomlinson said.

Psychologist Michael Carr-Gregg said Santa was a crucial part of a child's Christmas celebration.

"These claims are an absolute outrage for the vast majority of children who are healthier and happier because of their vast memories of Christmas," he said.

But Pastor McNeilly said Santa detracted from the "true message of Christmas that God sent his son to save us from our sins".


Remember my post on how Christians should boycott Christmas tree? I think Pastor Steve McNeilly is either reading and taking the Bible literally or is being nagged to buy a 1000-buck Playstation 3 package for his kids (if he has any that is). The latter reason is, certainly, more understandable to me. I have this problem with Christmas, ok, make that 2 problems. First, Christmas music. They're ok in small doses but every Christmas I get this massive dose of Christmas music everywhere I go and on every channel on TV. There's just so much Christmas music you can take. Second, presents. I'm fine with buying presents and shopping in general. However, I tend to buy more presents for myself than for anyone else. Maybe it's a combination of boredom (from having nothing to do since Christmas coincides summer holiday in Australia) and the urge to spend for Christmas.

What's not so understandable is the fact that the pastor can say with absolute certainty that Santa Claus doesn't exist and God does. I mean, Santa Claus is just as real as god himself. In some aspects, Santa rocks the socks of god. You see, there's no "words of Santa", Santa doesn't tell you to go and kill all those people who don't believe in his existence, there's no Santa's hell and he lives on the same planet as us. What makes him so certain? True god was invented before Santa but that doesn't constitute existence!

I also have to disagree with Monsegnieur Les Tomlinson.

The Catholic Church's Monsegnieur Les Tomlinson said Christmas was a time for parents to teach children the joys of gift-giving.

I suppose children do learn a joy during Christmas but it's not the joy of gift-giving. It's more like the joy of being on the receiving end of gift-giving.

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