Before some of you go off to some faraway corner of this fire-bait of a state

This post almost not made it because:
- the contents are almost too self-absorbed and irrelevant
- it almost got named "update". Again. For the umpteenth time.

This post made it because:
- I am bored with anxiousness or anxious with boredom. The true feelings actually oscillate between those very narrow non-extreme.
- I am feeling almost guilty for being a bit of a hermit lately.


My early birthday present. From the Alarmist. The Doodler should thank the Alarmist one day for giving me this Journal since The Doodler will definitely get to read this particular journal. I haven't finished wrecking the first page yet so ask me about it when you see me (if you're gonna see me at all this year).


One night in the middle of the heat wave last week I was outside enjoying the cool night since the inside of my house was fast resembling the inside of a heated oven. I played around with some settings on the camera and this is the product. First attempt at light drawing. And no I wasn't trying to write or draw anything with the flashlight. Just messing around.


Remember that rule I had about not posting pictures of people I know/related to me on here? Well listen to that sound, it's the sound of me swallowing my own words and changing it to not posting pictures featuring identifiable/recognisable parts of people I know/related to. Ready yourself for your picture on this blog pretty soon. With your face blacked out with my "awesome" photoshop skills. Oh, that's a picture of The Other Nuh-Guy-An Girl, the one who is yet to have her name de-identified into a codename here, or the one whose codename is something I can't remember. Or you can refer to her as that underage kid who should thank me more often for sneaking her into over 18's only concerts twice.

So that's it. Have fun at your corner of the dry state. Don't start fires, be it intentionally or unintentionally (by crashing your car into some dry tree). Don't kill each other even if you're fucking mad at them. Come back alive so that you can at least see my hermit ass again.

Maybe.

In case you haven't been completely entertained so far. Here's an Alarmist quote:

I always thought that it's called "The Bald and the Beautiful" instead of "The Bold and the Beautiful"

Say bye to Bush

A very short list of things that made me lol'ed lately

Youtube comments. I never really saw the point of having a commenting system on Youtube until the day that my videos loaded so slowly that I had nothing better to read than the comments. Now I read the comments just for the comedic values they hold. Where else to you expect to see people calling other people "imbecile"? Oh, read this from the bottom up
Manbra? Menssire? Whatever you call them, they're lol-worthy.

Arrested Development. That show is hilarious, the Pencil Chewer was right.


This

Just to cover every questions

Snapped by the Floorober ages ago.

Miscellaneous cool stuffs

Just a list of cool things that I found this week that I can't possibly fit in anywhere on any of my blog posts and they are not really worth individual posts. So here they are in one post.

The Wombats - Kill the director
This single was released some months ago but I've just discovered it now. It sounded good the first time I heard it but now after a dozen listens it's kinda boring. What's with the band name anyway?


The last super (zombie version)

Kudos to ekko @ Berkeley Place for finding this. Quite a literal approach to the Bible story hey?

Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your -- oh god - By Bob-Rz

Huhm, note to self: specificity, without it scenarios like the above can happen. Check out Bob-Rz other hilarious cartoons on his deviantart account.

Southern Fundamentalists to embrace local dykes??

Aren't you at least a little bit curious about that? If you are read on or follow this link to the original site you'll know. Enjoy!

Spelling Mishap Causes Southern Fundamentalists to Embrace Local Dykes

by Suzanne Rush 06/21/2006

OKEECHOBEE, FLORIDA – With Alberto, the first named hurricane of 2006 bearing down on their town last week, parishioners at Okeechobee South Baptist Church began praying for the welfare of local dykes. This marks a turn-around for the fundamentalist congregation that, only last month, held a “Gay marriage will be legalized over my dead body” bake sale.

But Pastor John Hotchkiss claims his flock just misunderstood a recent sermon during which he asked them to pray for the wellbeing of the aging Herbert Hoover dike that holds back the waters of neighboring Lake Okeechobee.

“All I said, was that after what happened in Godless New Orleans, we needed to put in a good word with the Lord to ask that our dikes get special treatment from the government this year,” Hotchkiss explained. “But, I guess some people took my message the wrong way. Plus,” he added angrily, “that idiot Earl can’t spell to save his G*d#@mn*d life!”

Earl, South Baptist’s handyman, claims he ran out of vowels when putting up the church’s sermon marquee that week, and decided to make a quick substitution. “No one can take a joke around here,” the flamboyantly-dressed Earl responded when asked about the mix-up. “Hotchkiss didn’t think it was funny when I asked him to go away on a fishing trip with me last year, either.”

After the controversial address, South Baptist’s parishioners drove to the local lesbian bar and began a prayer vigil around the pool table. Bar owner Beth “Spike” Baldwin was initially alarmed to see the two-dozen fundamentalist Christians flooding into her establishment. “But after a few drinks, they turned out to be real nice folks,” she said. “Their needlepoint club is even going to make some sections for the AIDS quilt. Hey, better late than never.”

When told about the series of mistakes, Sally DeAngelis, South Baptist’s organist, admitted that initially she had been “pretty surprised” about the Pastor’s message. “I thought maybe Herbert Hoover dikes were like those Log Cabin guys. We’re all Republicans, right? But after he explained, I got to thinking that there must be a reason that hurricane season and Gay Pride month begin at the same time. After all, there are no random coincidences with God.”

DeAngelis now spearheads the church’s float committee, and will be riding on their entry in Okeechobee’s first Pride parade later this month.

“The float will be a giant, rainbow-hued, papier-mache dike and I’ll be riding it dressed in drag as the Little Dutch Boy,” she said, wagging her finger for emphasis. “I’ve even got the wooden shoes.”

Pastor Hotchkiss said he felt a bit defeated by the whole debacle, and would be preaching about something safe this coming Sunday — like why Jesus wants women to earn less money than men.

geeky gifts for the devoted

Fresh out of ideas about what to buy for your slightly geeky fundie friends? No worry, you've come to the right place.




Let's go with the really cheap stuff first. Let me introduce you to the iBelieve. It's a replacement cap and lanyard for your iPod shuffle. This thing will turn your sucky gum pack iPod shuffle (old version) into a still sucky iPod shuffle that looks like a cross. Woohoo, we can bring our shuffles into churches and listen to them instead of the service now.
The next item is a real cross-shaped mp3 player. And it even comes in glossy black and chrome plated. I wonder if it comes with preloaded Hillsong songs or an unabridged audiobook version of the Bible? Even better, they should make the Bible audiobook non-removable so that people have to sit through the whole bible before they can listen to their music. That should make the thing much more appealing to the fundie population.

Have this ever happen to you? You download a big-ass 20-something-MB file on a dialup connection, cut and paste the file to your USB drive then your computer refuses to eject the drive safely. Since you refuse to accept that the stupid computer refuses to eject your USB drive, you just pluck the drive out. The result? You have to reformat our USB drive and lose everything. Now you don't have to worry about it anymore, there's a new type of USB drive with a fool-proof plan to prevent just that. Behold, the Virgin USB

See? With just one sentence "oh Maria keep my data safe" you can throw your worries away.
I haven't any luck trying to find this particular USB drive on eBay but if I can get my hands on this I'm gonna try to remove it unsafely to see if I'm gonna lose any data.

useless, FUN, time-wasting tid bits (children, please keep out!)

I recently found out that an old friend of mine is married. My first thought when I heard that is 'wow', my second thought is 'what the heck, you're too young to be married!'. It's quite disturbing for me to imagine anyone who is as old as me, or in this case as young as me, would want to get married and have children. Maybe it's just me but I think the best time to be married is after 25. Why 25? I don't know, not too old to have children but old enough to have enjoyed single life I guess.

What's more disturbing is that I know the 2 of them would get straight down to the business of making children since they're hardcore Christians. No siree, we don't want anything unnatural about sex, not those plastic thingies.

If you're wondering what the heck the title of this post is about, well I'm a responsible person most of the time so I like to give out warnings when I feel like it. This post is definitely MA rated and the stuff above is nothing compared to the stuff I'm gonna put below here. There's gonna be a song list full of songs (duh! what else can a song-list list?) about the same topic, there's gonna be 2 minute of snogging video and last of all there's gonna be a huge comic page of R rated nature. There, that's warning enough, that's responsible enough of me.

Ok, let's get down to the list. A few months ago I found a strangely funny list on Wikipedia. It's a list of songs about masturbation. 'Strange? Why strange?' you may ask. Well, strange because someone would write much less sing about such topic and stranger still, someone would compile a list of those songs. Now these songs can have pretty straight forward titles such as "I touch myself", "Touch of my hand" or "ode to masturbation" or highly cryptic titles such as "communist daughter" or "weenie in a bottle".
Please don't ask me how I come across this list. I might have been researching STDs and a link piqued my curiosity. One thing I'm sure, I wasn't looking for them in the first place.
Now that I've finished defending my questionable character, here's the link to the list. I'm sure you'll have a laugh at some of those title.

Alright, next on the list, 2 minute of snogging. I'm sure you've seen people kiss before. I see it all the time on the train. However, I've never seen 2 girls do it on a train. Why I wonder.

Again, I innocently came across this. What do you think? I go searching for lesbian kissing videos? Purlease give me a break! I'm not the 3vil p3v3rt3d g3nius thank you very much. This video popped up on one of those comics websites I have links for.

I did save the best bits for last. Have you ever wonder what phrase atheists use for instead of "oh God" when they're doing it? This comics with very explicit contents tried to answer that. Here's the original site: Deist on top (by Jeff Swenson)








Ok, back to the part about my friend got married. After I read the comic strips, every time I think about my friend I got weirded out. It's one thing reading about other people having sex, it's another thing entirely when you imagine your friend doing it with her husband.

Bad parenting

blonde chick with hairy pussy

Hah, not what you're expecting, is it? Can't really sue me for misleading, can you? For all I know there is a blonde chick and a hairy pussy in that picture [evil laugh].