coming to an illegally downloaded song very soon: product placement

Well well, I was talking about Fergie just yesterday, or rather I was quoting UrbandDictionary on Fergie yesterday, and now here she is again. I think I'm a bit slow to join this party but hey, better late than never. Besides, I'm one of the opinionated online bloggers who refuse to let an opportunity to make my onion opinion known slide.

Since record sales are declining or at least that's what Fergie is claiming, people who are like you and me (i.e. people who obtain illegal mp3s and only buy music that we really really like) should expect to hear jingles for Listerine cleverly worked into our songs by our beloved artists pretty soon.

If you're going "what the ...?", this article (via Post Chronicle) will clear it up.

Fergie is set to make £2 million by promoting a US clothing firm in her songs.

The 32-year-old Black Eyed Peas singer, who has become the first star to agree to product placement in her songs, will write and perform tracks endorsing fashion company Candie's on her second solo album.

An executive at Fergie's record label Interscope said: "With record sales in decline, you must find novel ways to make money out of the music. The trick is to make the brand part of the song so that it slips down easily rather than chokes the fan.

"Candie's will have no say over exactly what Fergie will sing, or when. Fergie does not sing jingles so it will have to work unobtrusively in the song."

Fergie - real name Stacy Ann Ferguson - has also agreed to appear in Candie' s TV adverts and allow Candie's advisors to style fans at her shows.

Some fans are outraged by Fergie's decision to promote a product in her music, insisting it tarnishes her and the Black Eyed Peas' credibility.

Rickie Durtado, who runs a Los Angeles rap website, fumed: "Since 1988 the Black Eyed Peas have been a socially responsible band who stood against the bling-bling materialism of rap.

"But since Fergie joined the group four years ago they have become more like a boy band.

"Fans are used to advertising banners at festivals, but making them part of the song is not cool. There is no escape."

First off, I'd like to express my obvious displeasure at this. If anyone really need more money from their music it's the struggling indie bands out there, not Fergie. This is just ridiculous, you have to pay to listen to jingle that Fergie get paid to sing (unless you download her songs illegally). What is the logic in this? At the very least we should get the song for free. Do we pay to see ads on TV? Do we pay to hear commercials on the radio? Oh yeah, we pay for the electricity to run the TV or the radio to watch/listen to commercials but I doubt that electricity companies share the money the get with the artist.

Secondly, I don't think any song by Fergie, with or without product placement, has ever or will ever go down my throat smoothly. I distinctly remember the sensation of having to cough water out of my lungs. I usually don't choke on water (which always just flow smoothly pass my larynx and into my oesophagus without any trouble) unless I see or hear something extremely ridiculous and attempt the impossible multi-task of laughing and swallowing water. The last time I heard a Fergie's song was the horrible "London Bridge". It wasn't really the ridiculous music, the retarded lyrics or the awful vocal as much as the humping dance she did to the poor London guard. Who ever came up with that dance is seriously mentally deficient. How is that supposed to turn anyone on? If I see anyone doing that to another person I would think that the dancer is on some sort of sex heat and needs to hump anyone/anything that is humpable.

Thirdly, how can having product placement tarnish Fergie's credibility when she doesn't have any to start with?

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Background material:
The ridiculous humping dance start at 0:48. Luckily, this time I'm fully prepared and am not drinking any sort of fluid or ingesting any solid. However, the song still refuses to go down my throat.