Sunday, March 25, 2007

In which I found out I look like a man

Perhaps I haven't been really forthcoming about my gender. But if you read between the lines enough, you will find out that I'm in fact a girl. But then I barely have any readers and my readers barely have time to read the actual lines let alone between the fracking lines. My fault really, I never come out and say that I'm a female.

Whatever, now that that part is over you can understand my amazement when I found out that I look like a man. Do I really look like a man. Granted that I've never really been a girly girl, you know, the type that wears frilly pink skirts and plays with Barbies. And granted that my hair is a bit shorter than what I used to have last year. But to say that I look like a man is a bit of a stretch.

I wouldn't have put this in my blog had it only happened once. However it happened twice in the same week and I don't have anything else to write so there you go. The first time it was this primary kid that I'm tutoring (or sort of tutoring). Funny kid, I showed her how to spell and all for an hour and then she asked me innocently: "Are you a boy or a girl?". At the time, I just thought, "this kid is weird, haven't she seen a girl before?" and before you ask, I didn't wear baggy clothes that day, but I didn't wear pink frilly clothes that day either so the kid's question was very distantly understandable.

Then the second incident happened. I was waiting for my mum, it was fracking hot and I couldn't be bothered getting my ipod out to listen while waiting so I just sat on this bench. And then a mother and her daughter (who's about 5 years old) walked pass and the kid said to her mum: "Look mum it's a man". I was reading a book so I don't know if the stupid kid pointed at me while saying this or not. When I heard that comment, I thought, maybe she was talking about some man exercising around (what is with people exercising in really hot weather anyway?). I sort of felt bad for the kid too coz she delivered that line in the same tone that any kid that age would say "Look mum, it's a tiger" when they see one in a zoo. You know, the kind of tone that implies she has never seen "a man" before and it's the most amazing sight she has ever beheld. But then the mother delivered the punch in a little voice: "it's a lady, not a man".

After I heard that I'm extremely convinced the kid has never seen a fracking man before. How else can she mistake a girl with boobs, albeit not the kind of ballooned boobs the Baywatch chicks all seem to have, for a man????

I went to buy "American Psycho" from Borders the day after that. Everything went normally until I had this um... conversation with the guy behind the checkout.

This might seem like an insult but...
ME: [thinking]
Oh my fracking god, he's gonna ask me if I'm a guy or a girl. Why is that relevant to me buying a book? He looks kinda gay, is he trying to hit on me? No, he doesn't look gay, is he still trying to hit on me? Dammit, I'm gonna complain to his supervisor.
... do you have any ID on you...
ME: [still thinking]
Frack! He's not only trying to find out my gender, he's trying to find out my address too. Shit, I've got a stalker.
... because you have to be over 18 to buy this book.
ME: [able to stop thinking and speak at last]

Stupid guy, he didn't finish the sentence immediately, he left it hanging like that for what seemed like a second. Let me tell you something, there's a lot a person can think in one second. A lot.
What doesn't make sense is why a book can be rated R. OK, I guess books can be rated R too but "American Psycho" was available at my high school for anyone to borrow, regardless of age. And it was an all girl high school too. Damn, way to go messing up young girls' mind.

That's the most memorable thing that happened to me this week. Apart from that it's very much a boring week. An update on celebrity-look-alike lecturer: Betty doesn't look like Betty. Ok, that came out not very right. I mean that Betty the lecturer doesn't look like Betty the Ugly. The only similarity between Betty and Betty is the name Betty. The end.

And to end this post with a multimedia item. Take a look at this horrible movie trailer. Oh, it's a horror movie, not a spoof horror movie. What can they come up next? psychotic Teddy bears? Serial killer ducks?

Sunday, March 18, 2007

I'm not dead. Yet.

It's so nice to know that particular fact even though I feel like the walking dead during the week. And according to the humongous amount of email I've got from my few readers, some are wondering why I haven't updated my blog for almost a month. Is it because I've got abducted by the Cylons? Is it because I have finally had enough with blogging?

Ok, I lied, I didn't get any email from anyone, mainly because I don't have any readers and no I didn't get abducted by the cylons and no I didn't get bored of blogging. I was busy.

This is strange typing this out but I actually like uni now. Who would have thought that is possible? Me liking uni? I guess uni just kind grows on you. I read somewhere that human's got this amazing ability to adjust to their environment. Kinda like if you live in a house that smells like manure long enough you stop smelling the sickening odour but all your friends who come to visit are like "how can you live with smelling shit all day?" and you are like "smelling what? I don't smell anything". Anyway, you get my point.

Talking about manure, suddenly this week I the area around my uni campus started to smell like manure, possibly because of the construction going on, anyway, that got me worried for a while coz if you're smelling manure everywhere you go there's a good chance that you've stepped on some dog shit.

Back to serious discussion now. I've been busy, mostly busy trying to stay awake, the rest of the time, I was busy catching up with what I missed out when I fell asleep during some lectures. So yeah, I was busy. I gave up coffee during the holiday, and no I haven't noticed any positive change in my health since then. What I did notice is I constantly feel like going to a deep, long sleep especially during spectroscopy lectures. Nothing against the lecturer but I think I will have to record his lectures for future use coz I keep falling asleep when I have him. What possible use can I put these recordings to? Well, for one I can use them to catch up at home and may be put me to sleep when I get insomnia? Trust me on this, mass spec will put you to sleep in 2 minutes.

I was reading this post by Jacob on toilet graffiti and it cracks me up. Really, I know this is so sad but I haven't seen any toilet graffiti in my uni ever since I started uni last year. We've got this tiny campus and half of the people going there are overseas students who talk loudly in Chinese in the quiet academic setting of university library. I need to go off topic right now and rant about loud Chinese overseas students. I know I'm appearing very xenophobic but trust me, I'm not. I have nothing against foreigners or overseas students except for talking loudly in libraries. What is with Chinese and the need to yell over one another? In Chinese? When everyone else is NOT talking? I asked a friend who is Chinese these questions and she laughed and said that my observations were so true and she just didn't know, and still doesn't know, why Chinese do this.

Anyway, back to toilet graffiti. We've got a tiny campus and half of the people there are overseas students who probably don't like to stay in the toilet cubicle longer than they have to to write some smartass comments since they have this need to get out of there, go to quiet libraries and yell over one another in Chinese to torment ME. OK, I'm gonna stay off the Chinese overseas students problem that I have. I think overseas students don't do graffiti. They're too busy studying to get the most out of what they have to fork out to go to uni in Australia. I think most of the graffiti in uni toilets are from those Arts students, you know, the hippie, artsie, thrift shop clothes wearing students. And since we only have nerdy science-based students in the campus, we've got no graffiti. Nada, zilch. Man that is sad as toilet graffiti is the essential part of university life. I mean, the toilet doors are the best place to have discussions like rights of gay people, what self-love is and how Howard sucks. I am just so jealous of those Melbourne Uni students, they get to read all these stimulating discussion when they do their business and I don't. Man, my uni sucks. No wonder it's not the best uni in Australia and Melbourne Uni is.

Anyway, no matter how much my uni sucks at the moment regarding the lack of toilet graffiti, I'm loving it, especially the library. There are a lot of renovating going on at the moment in my campus and the shift the whole library into a temporary library which is about a quarter of the size of the original library. And I just love the temp library. People complain about it constantly since there's no study room now . Everybody hates it and goes to study in the Melbourne Uni library instead. So now no one is in the temp library but me. I'm loving this.

And how can you hate your uni when one of your lecturer looks like Betty? I meant it, one of my lecturer looks like Ugly Betty. My friends told me I'm full of shit when I told them my observation but really she does look like Betty, without the braces and the Hispanic dark skin and dark hair. I would have posted her picture but I don't think she would approve and I don't think I can get her picture so you'll never know.

Yeah, that's about it.

Oh wait, I've got this email yesterday. Here's a screenshot.

I can't believe this. I've only uploaded the one file to YouTube and I've gotten into trouble. What the hell is YouTube for anyway if not to upload TV episodes that people from other parts of the world can't watch? Sharing is caring. And it's not like I posted the entire episode. The bummer is I didn't rip the show myself. I've got it off a blog that provides enormous amount of similar clips from Australian TV shows. I wonder if the blog's still doing it?

Ok, that's it. I'm off, hopefully I won't be busy next week. Until then, here's something good, in my opinion, to listen to.


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