Sunday, July 29, 2007

I don't read the bible, I don't trust disciples

First time I had read the Bible
It had stroke me as unwitty
I think it may started rumor
That the Lord ain't got no humor

I stumbled upon this today, an anti-bible song, this will probably be the song I play every Sunday. Gogol Bordello is awesome for making this.

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Miscellaneous cool stuffs

Just a list of cool things that I found this week that I can't possibly fit in anywhere on any of my blog posts and they are not really worth individual posts. So here they are in one post.

The Wombats - Kill the director
This single was released some months ago but I've just discovered it now. It sounded good the first time I heard it but now after a dozen listens it's kinda boring. What's with the band name anyway?

The last super (zombie version)

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Kudos to ekko @ Berkeley Place for finding this. Quite a literal approach to the Bible story hey?

Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your -- oh god - By Bob-Rz
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Huhm, note to self: specificity, without it scenarios like the above can happen. Check out Bob-Rz other hilarious cartoons on his deviantart account.

The next annoying thing

Remember Crazy Frog? I think it was named that way because it drives people nuts listening to that Frog singing without pants. What the hell really, it wears a helmet why doesn't it wear pants? I know safety must be first but decency must come before safety.

Anyhow, I've found something that rivals Crazy Frog in the annoying level: Funny Bear. This one wears shorts at least.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

It's karma

Finally I am rewarded for turning other people's Student cards in to the librarian. Our unicard is one nifty smart card with that chip thingy on it. You can use it to photocopy stuff (at a price that drives you away from ever coming back to use the photocopy machine) and people leave their cards in the machine all the time. And me, being the "evil" one always return the card to the library front desk. I didn't even use the credits they have on their card to copy my stuff. That's how "evil" I am.

Anyhow, I left my USB drive at the library yesterday in my haste to get out of there. I didn't realize it until I got home and went looking for the drive. Naturally, I was worried. I got 3 gig of porn on the drive, I don't really want anyone to know that I've got that on the drive do I? Ok, I was joking, there wasn't anything incriminating (except an illegally downloaded album and several illegally scanned ebooks) or embarrassing like porn (except for this one podcast that is titled something something group sex, but I swear it doesn't have anything to do with sex in a group. Yes, it's a podcast from a group of people and yes they did talk about sex but really that's all there is to that podcast) or a picture of me doing the Asian peace sign. I didn't have any important stuff on my USB drive but I was worried. I paid for that thing and I like it. It's 4GB so I can download a whole heap of stuff (read: illegal music) at uni. And I was annoyed at myself for forgetting it too. I don't usually forget stuff like that, especially something I like.

I went into the library this morning to ask the librarian to see if they've got it. To tell you the truth, I wasn't very hopeful that they would have it but they did. I got my USB drive back in one piece! I guess, it's karma. I guess, people aren't assholes after all. I suppose it helps also that:

  1. I left it in the library at 4pm and there wasn't that many people there.
  2. It's a small campus and half of the students are overseas students (read: rich bastards who probably wouldn't want a free, extra USB drive anyway)

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

I have a cold

No actually, I have to rephrase that. To say "I have a cold" means that I'm using a disease (a cold is not a disease, I know but let's just humour me ok?) to define myself. I should say I am suffering from a cold. If you ask me, I'd say it's just a load of over-thought psychology, but hey if writing "a patient suffering from asthma" instead of "a patient who has asthma" gets me over the fail mark in exam, I'd do it.

So yeah, I still have that cold/sore throat from reading HP in a freezing room. It was alright yesterday but today it got worse, I don't know why, probably has something to do with the woman who sneezed on me yesterday on the train. She covered her mouth but you never know.

Anyhow, let's cheer me up with some muzak. No, I'm still not in the mood for Tool, Bert. Here's what got me smiling today
Iron & Wine - Such Great Heights (The Postal Service cover)

The Postal Service - Such great heights

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Dude, where's my tree?

Some asshole stole a tree from my front yard. I'm serious. Said asshole must have thought he was so cool, stealing trees from other people's front yard and dumping the trees on their neighbour's font yard. Actually, the tree-stealing asshole didn't actually steal our tree, more like uprooted the our Japanese maple from our front yard.

My parents were going "what the fuck" since they paid for that tree and they had to dig a hole in the front yard to plant that tree. Do you know how hard it is to dig a hole? Even a small one for a tiny Japanese maple. It's pretty freaking hard. First you have to get rid of all the grass & weeds which have really deep tangled roots, and then you have to dig the hole which is the harder part. Anyhow, my parents were going what the? And then they went through the mourning period of 2 hours, and then they went for a walk during which they spotted the Japanese maple that they had spent the past 2 hours mourning over in our neighbour's front yard. We replanted the poor maple but right now we don't really know if it's dead or alive since it doesn't have any leaves (it's winter here) at the moment.

And that, my friends, is the highlight of the weekend beside Harry Potter and the freezing house. Not a very good weekend after all. I mentioned somewhere in my last post that the heating system in my house went down on the coldest day since 2000 right? And I spent that night reading Harry Potter right? Without heating right? Right. I've been having a cold, a sore throat and a fucking headache which paracetamol can't cure for the whole day. So in my infinite wisdom, I decided that there's no point trying to study or do something that would need brain cells right? Right,I went to listen to Tool's "10,000 days". Bad bad BAD decision. I've given up Tool for now after going through a third of the album. Note to self: never listen to anything heavy when having a headache.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Music post no.2: songs to go ga-ga over

Before we get to this week's songs, I have to tell you all about Harry Potter. Nah, I won't ruin it for you people who haven't read it yet. It's a good enough ending I guess. I didn't really enjoy it though. And the reason why I didn't enjoy it has nothing to do with the book. Before I get to the main reason why I didn't enjoy the book there's a fact I need to get out of the way: yesterday was the coldest day in Melbourne since 2000. Or rather it was today's morning that was the coldest morning since 2000. How many people knew that? I didn't but now I know. I didn't think it was cold though. I thought that the whole week had been freezing. I'm glad I'm back in uni now, they are really serious about heating at uni. They turn the heat way up, it was practically tropical in the part of the lecture theatre where I sit.

Anyway, so yesterday and today's morning were freezing, normally I wouldn't mind that. However, I spent the whole night last night up until 2am this morning reading the Harry Potter leak on my computer and the heater in my house just decided yesterday that it would stop working. On the coldest day (so far) of this millennium. Let me tell you, sitting in a room as cold as a freezer (I could see the moisture in my breath in my room last night, it was that cold) to read will impede your enjoyment of anything.

Why did I read the leak you might wonder. Well we bought a copy this morning but then I knew that my sister would want to read it first. Plus, why not finish it before everyone else get their hands on their copy? I think I need to re-read the 6th book, can't remember much about it but Dumbledore dying. And heaps of people died in the last book too. Now that Harry Potter's finished, I'm kinda sad.

And what better way to cheer myself up than some music? Ok, first up, the song that never fails in cheering me up: Rilo Kiley - Frug

And now my favourite songs this week:
Spoon - The underdog
Cloud Cult - A good god

And last but not least, something Bert might like.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Ooh yeah!

Who's got the Harry Potter leak? Me
Who's gonna stay up all night to read it and sleep in lectures and pracs tomorrow? Me (probably)
So far, it's one pain in the ass reading these images, can't speed read and the guy who took those pictures really doesn't know how to take picture. Disable the flash man, it's not that I don't appreciate your effort, it's just that I don't appreciate using flash to take pictures of something that's white and gonna reflect the flash. OK, off to snail read my HP leak, I'll probably be blind by tomorrow.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

The end-of-holiday movies/DVDs reviews

What does one do when one is on a three-week holiday and one gets to watch movies and DVDs for free? This is a review of most of the movies/DVDs I've seen this holiday. The number of DVDs outnumbers the number of movies because I'm such a tight-ass with spending money on movie tickets and all my friends wanted to do when I got together was sit around and talk or go shoe-shopping.

Let's get the romantic comedies out of the way first
Music & Lyrics. Cute romantic comedy with a plot as flimsy as the flimsiest piece of clothing Paris has ever worn. No chemistry whatsoever between the leads. Add a few bad songs and Hugh Grant shaking his moneymaker(??) on stage and you get this. All the cuteness factor comes from Drew Barrymore and one cute actress cannot save a bad romantic comedy. My verdict: don't see it if you really don't have to.

The Holiday. The best time I've had this year with any romantic comedy. That is the case because of the above movie and another romantic comedy I saw earlier this year that made me cry the whole way through. You're not supposed to cry while watching romantic comedies, they're comedies for macaroni's sake. Anyway, I digress, back to The Holiday. It's got a very simple plot but it works and it's got a great cast which have some semblance of chemistry together. My verdict: one thumb up.

That's all for the rom-coms. Next is the one and only movie that belongs to the semi-horror genre: The Messengers. I call it semi-horror because it's not good enough to be horror and it's not good enough to be anything else either. The ghosts in this movie look like something out of The Ring and they move around like spiderman suffering from Parkinson's disease. The plot is so ridiculous and blatantly cliche that it shouldn't be called a plot at all. The only intelligent beings in this movie are the crows, the whole family is stupid even the baby that can see ghosts is stupid. You would expect someone who has the ability to see ghosts to be at least extraordinary in some way right? But no, the stupid baby just sat around and stared at the ghosts. Verdict: worst horror movie ever.

Happily N'Ever After. This seemed like the longest animation I've ever seen in my life when I was watching it. I just wanted it to finish, I didn't even care for a happy ending. I didn't like the good guys, the bad guys, the sidekicks, the prince or even the main characters. First off, I have always hated Cinderella. Ok, I'll cut her some slacks for being an orphan whose meager fortune got stolen by heartless stepmother and hideously ugly stepsisters and upgrade that to I have always disliked Cinderella. That chick is the type that should really grow a spine and stand up for herself instead of waiting for a prince to come and rescue her. Since this movie is supposed to be an updated Cinderella story I expected to see some spine. But no. Half of the movie was spent to knock some sense into still-spineless Cinderella. At least there is no handsome Prince coming to the rescue this time. Instead a much more handsome kitchen-hand. Cinderella did grow a little bit of spine at the very end but still that's not good enough. Verdict: I want more spine! N'ever again will I watch this.

Blood & Chocolate. I only watched this because I read the book a few years ago. Frankly, I can't remember much about the book or the movie for that matter. This probably says something about the quality of the movie. It has a good setting, probably would have much better themes and underlining message if it had stuck to the plot of the book. As I said I don't remember much about the book, I could have been remembering a completely different book but the book's plot is much better than the movie's. I expected werewolves to be different from normal wolves so I was disappointed. Maybe I should leave logic behind when I watch movies these days, I spent most of this movie berating about how a 70-kilogram human can change into a 40-kilogram-looking wolf, what happens to the 30 kilograms difference? That's quite weird really, I have no problem with a human morphing into a wolf but I have problem with unaccounted for weight loss. Verdict: so-so, see it if you have nothing else better to do.

Shooter. I'm just glad I didn't pay to see this movie. Horrible action movie where one guy goes around and just blows up everything and kills everyone he thinks is bad. There's nothing wrong with a movie with a lot of killing and bloodshed, I like Kill Bill and Smokin' Aces because they're fun to watch. Not this overtly sentimental crap. And this has the worst villain ever. Also, it's never good to be involved with your bestfriend's fiance even if he is dead. Verdict: not good.

Smokin' Aces. I like it. I don't know why I like this but I hate Shooter. Maybe because of the believability scale. I always like action movies that are completely over the top like Kill Bill and this because they're just completely fictional. I think if you spend money making an action movie (which is always going to be fictional) you have 2 options: either be completely over the top with lots of things blowing up an lots of killing. Or make it as low key as possible which is bad for action movies I guess. They're called action movies for a reason. Shooter is somewhere in the middle of the 2 extremes that I like that's why I hate it. Back to Smokin' Aces, sort of simple, completely unbelievable plot which involves the mafia and the FBI and a whole lot of contract killers. Plus one awesome score at the end of the movie from Clint Mansell. Verdict: best movie I've seen this holiday.

Ocean's 13. This should be a quick one. I like it better than Ocean's 12 possibly because of the absence of Julia Roberts. Ocean's 11 is the only good one out of the whole franchise. Verdict: If you've seen only Ocean's 11, don't think about seeing both the sequels.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. I think everyone on the face of the Earth has seen this or is planning to see this and has probably read the book already. Who ever adapted the book into this movie did a good job. Phoenix is my least favourite book of the series so far because of the shear length and lack of action. I wasn't pumped about the last book being released on Saturday but now I am. All because of this movie. I just don't remember much about what happened in Half-blood Prince though. It's probably time to re-read the book before the new one comes.

That's it. No more movies to talk about. Oh wait, I really really wanna see the Simpsons movie now. I saw one trailer yesterday with the Arnold Schwazernegger quote: "I was elected to leead, not to reead". Oh man, that was one funny trailer. Plus I never thought I would agree with Homer on anything but really the Bible doesn't have any answers.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Finally an A rant in ages

Finally, someone has admitted this: "God is not a person". You have to admit that this is progress, we're a little bit closer to "God does not exist" now. I know I've taken that bit out of context but really that's the only bit that's not ridiculous in this story here. In short, a convict tried to sue God.

A Romanian convict doing time for murder tried to sue God for breaking the contract they allegedly concluded at his baptism and not doing enough to protect him from Satan. The public prosecutor turned down the case -- because God does not have a home address.
I'd like to sue who ever educated this idiot. First, you cannot sue something that doesn't exist. Secondly, IF God exists, doesn't he know God is infallible? If he could get in touch with God and God responds with a definite yes (good luck with that really, God never answers yes-no-questions) to attend the trial he would just go: "I'm infallible you morons whom I spawned, what do you have for brains? Dirt? I designed him that way to kill off the idiots who don't know any better and the geniuses who know too much. Only me, the infallible God with boundless wisdom can do that".

And to end this short rant on a high note, there's a surprise in the full post. You know you wanna click on Read More. Really, trust me, you wanna.

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credits where credits are due

I changed my template again. I swear this is the last time this year I'm going through this pain in the ass. So here are my thanks to the people whose tweaks and hacks I use for this blog:

That's all I guess.
P.S. New template only shows the newest post on the main page. All the recent posts can be found on the left panel. Try it, it doesn't take any time to load which is why I changed to this new template.

Friday, July 13, 2007

Friday music post No. 1: get over Avril Lavigne

I hope this will be the first of many to come. A fixed weekly music post.

I talked about Avril Lavigne yesterday already so I guess there's no point in not talking about her some more today right? As it turned out the Rubinoos has just retracted their plagiarism claim. Suspicious anyone?
The point of this post today is not entirely to talk about AL yet again. The point is get over AL already, she is,like, sooo seriously childishly teenage! Grow up already!

Ok, I'm getting serious now. I listened to her latest album a few times last week. I thought that it was an OK record as far as pop records go. Some infectious, poppy songs. Nothing else though. The record felt kind of flat to me. I want heartbreaks, I want moody stuff not this "I don't like your girlfriend because I wanna be her" shit. For anyone who wants to get over this flop, I've gotten together this playlist of awesome Canadian acts. Some are indie-pop acts, some are indie-rock but all of them are better than Avril Lavigne. Give it a listen, you might even find your next favourite band from this playlist.

P.S. I know some of the songs only play for 30 seconds. Imeem is being sued so you can only listen to full tracks that you upload. Which is really stupid if you ask me. If I upload the track I would have it on my computer already why on earth would I wanna stream it from their website?

Thursday, July 12, 2007

I guess this calls for some sort of celebration

I got my exam results. This is sort of a bi-annual thing for me. Every year I get nervous the day I get my results. I don't get nervous as much before the exams or during the exams, only before I get the results. And every year when I finally get my results it's like a huge lump of fat just got removed from my coronary artery. Not that I ever had any fat removed from any of my arteries but if I do, I imagine that it would feel like receiving news that you've just made it for another semester.

So after a few minutes of utter elation (really, I thought I failed 2 subjects, they turned out to be the highest scoring subjects and the subjects that I thought I would do really well in turned out to have the shittiest marks of the bunch), reality sets in. I guess I can never be too happy with myself. Compare to last year this year's results is fucking shit. My grades are going downhill with every new semester. For instance, first semester of 1st year: huge results, 2 HDs and 3 Ds; second semester: not so good, 4Ds and 1C; first semester of 2nd year: 3 Ds and 2 Cs. At this rate I'll get 2 Ds and 3 Cs next semester. I don't know why I want good results that bad. Ok, I do know why. I blame it on Asian parents putting too much emphasis on getting straight As in primary and secondary schools. I guess I should just concentrate on celebrating just making a D average again and managing to keep my scholarship for yet another semester. Seriously, this scholarship business is giving me too much pressure and anxiety.

In which I figure out what Avril Lavigne's problem is

So I guess absolutely everyone who has access to the internet and understands English knows this already: Avril is being sued for plagiarism. This makes me feel good in a way. In Uni if you're caught plagiarising, the worst that can happen to you is being kicked out of Uni. I guess being kicked out of Uni isn't as bad as being sued. Nah, Avril's rich, she can pay for that when she lose the case. If I get kicked out of my course it would be the end of me.

In case you've been in a hole these past months and cannot be bothered with searching up all the blog buzz about this, here's a quick recap. In May, Avril Lavigne (AL) and her co-songwriter (some guy) were sued by an obscure 1970s band (the Rubinoos) for sounding suspiciously like their song "I wanna be your boyfriend" on her song "Girlfriend". You can judge it for yourself by watching the following clip.

Naturally, Avril denied the claim. Which is quite understandable, she was probably a follicle back when The Rubinoos were crooning "I wanna be your boyfriend". Besides, the 2 songs don't sound that much alike. However, this led to more claims (only one more actually) of plagiarism. This time another AL's song sounds exactly like a Peaches' song.

This time AL can't use the "never-heard-of-[insert name]" approach anymore. She incriminated herself stated in an interview this month that Peaches' "I'm the kinda" was her no. 1 inspiration. A better explanation would be "I got so inspired that I copied the song, you know, if imitation is the best form of flattery or whatever then copying the whole thing is like totally digging it right?".

To fabricate some semblance of "balance" into this completely one-sided report rant on AL, here are some clips of other people "copying" AL for a change. I guess I can only say "what goes around comes around".

Ok, I guess that wasn't a very quick recap was it. Anway, I've made up my mind about this whole affair. I think Avril didn't plagiarise intentionally. I think the explanation is quite simple really: she's not quite bright. My proof?
1. Anyone with half a brain wouldn't wanna look like some sort of Paris Hilton - Jessica Simpson cross like the picture on the left. I rest my case.

2. What is the logic behind "Sk8er boi", Einstein? I know it's txt speech, I can deal with abbreviating 2 letters into 1 number for "sk8er". But what is the deal with "boi"? the number of buttons you have to press is the same. For "boi" you have to press the number 4 button 3 times to get to the "i", for "boy" you have to press the number 9 button exactly 3 times to get to the "y". Unless there is a way enter the "i" on number 4 first, I don' see any short cut in using "i" instead of "y". Even if there is a shortcut, I'll choose "boy" over "boi" any day. I guess I'm not a text savvy person, I'm too anal on correct spellings and other grammatically correct shit (note, not to be applied to my blog posts, I'm a hypocrite that way, sue me, besides, one can't be grammatically correct when one rants). I always spend a few seconds decoding my messages, so there you have it.

3. She rhymes "home" with "home". Enough said.

I wouldn't go as far as calling her Avril Latrine though. There's something too childishly cruel about name calling like that. The furthest I would go is: "Avril, you're not in my top 10 Canadian artists list anymore". She's still in my top 100 Canadian artists though, simply because I don't know more than 100 artists from Canada. Back in 2002 she was number 1, when one is presented with the choice between Avril Lavigne and Celine Dion and one is an impressionable teenager it wouldn't be hard to figure out which one is chosen. When I come to think about it, I would still choose Avril Lavigne over Celine Dion now. Nothing to do with Celine Dion obvious singing talent though (I'm not being sarcastic now). That woman is just crazy.

Monday, July 09, 2007

Pownce: gender-confused friendly

So I managed to get one of the "highly coveted" invitation to join Pownce. If you're sitting there going "Pownce, what's that?", you're not the only one. I didn't know of its existence until I read a post from a blog that's giving out invitations for Pownce. Apparently, it's a micro-blogging platform similar to Twitter. And if you're going "Twitter, what's that?" like my sister, it's a blogging service like blogger but it's for the ADHD generation. You basically just write one or two sentences per post and you can post as frequently as you like. I thought it would be nice to get a Twitter account a while back but then changed my mind. What the heck am I gonna blog about if I can blog every minute? It might resemble something like this:

5:55am, just woke up, gonna go wash my face
6:00am, finished washing my face and worrying about new zits, gonna get breakfast now
6:30am, finished breakfast gonna get changed to go to uni
7:00am, in the car, omg my mum is listening to nursery rhythms
8:30am, in lecture theatre, gee, we have that bore for biochem YET again

Ok,you get the picture. Seriously, I barely have anyone reading my once or twice a week blog, who would be interested in me enough to read my twitters and I doubt my friends would even be interested in what I do.

Anyhow, back to the topic of Pownce. I thought it would be a nice time to try this micro-blogging thing, besides I like trying web2.0 things when they're in alpha stages. So I signed up with the invitation, the sign up process is simple enough but then I reached the gender questions. Gone were the days when you can give a simple, definitive answer to this question. What I got on the drop down list is this

Huhm, so hard to choose, I didn't know that a chick is a completely different gender from a girl and a lady. And guess what? all of those aren't female either. No wonder why there are so many gender-confused people around these days. For instance, the other day I was at Flinder street station and there was this person walking in front of me. From this person's back I would say that it was a girl/chick/lady/female half the the population. Then the person turned around and it was a guy/dude/gentleman/male. It's just that he was wearing skinny jeans the way girls/chicks/ladies/females usually do, pink, long and tight t-shirt (in winter, gee talking about a case of hypothermia waiting to happen) and flip-flops (I don't want to use the word thongs, which is what we call flip-flops here in Australia because really how can I know if anyone is wearing thongs, the underwear, unless they wear them outside their normal clothes). What made me decided that he was a female was the way he walked. He walked with a prominent sway in the hips like the way female models do.

So the point of all this is to say the whole thing with the dude that looked like a chick is weird and that Pownce should include an option on their registration form for gender-confused people who do not belong to any of the categories they have there already. But then they'll be in the none-of-the-above category.

Back to Pownce, after finally settling my confusion over what exactly is my gender I finally logged on. And what a disappointment was Pownce. It's basically a place where you can share things with your "friends". It's more like a messenger than a micro-blogging platform. And we all know what I think of instant messengers, don't we? Maybe I should make new friends and possibly they can pownce me some leak albums.

That's it for now, before I go though, here's a video (that you might have seen already) that I've just discovered today: What if God had a myspace.

What if God Had a MySpace

Posted Jun 17, 2006

This hilarious video answers the age-old question, "What if God had a MySpace account?"

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

coming to an illegally downloaded song very soon: product placement

Well well, I was talking about Fergie just yesterday, or rather I was quoting UrbandDictionary on Fergie yesterday, and now here she is again. I think I'm a bit slow to join this party but hey, better late than never. Besides, I'm one of the opinionated online bloggers who refuse to let an opportunity to make my onion opinion known slide.

Since record sales are declining or at least that's what Fergie is claiming, people who are like you and me (i.e. people who obtain illegal mp3s and only buy music that we really really like) should expect to hear jingles for Listerine cleverly worked into our songs by our beloved artists pretty soon.

If you're going "what the ...?", this article (via Post Chronicle) will clear it up.

Fergie is set to make £2 million by promoting a US clothing firm in her songs.

The 32-year-old Black Eyed Peas singer, who has become the first star to agree to product placement in her songs, will write and perform tracks endorsing fashion company Candie's on her second solo album.

An executive at Fergie's record label Interscope said: "With record sales in decline, you must find novel ways to make money out of the music. The trick is to make the brand part of the song so that it slips down easily rather than chokes the fan.

"Candie's will have no say over exactly what Fergie will sing, or when. Fergie does not sing jingles so it will have to work unobtrusively in the song."

Fergie - real name Stacy Ann Ferguson - has also agreed to appear in Candie' s TV adverts and allow Candie's advisors to style fans at her shows.

Some fans are outraged by Fergie's decision to promote a product in her music, insisting it tarnishes her and the Black Eyed Peas' credibility.

Rickie Durtado, who runs a Los Angeles rap website, fumed: "Since 1988 the Black Eyed Peas have been a socially responsible band who stood against the bling-bling materialism of rap.

"But since Fergie joined the group four years ago they have become more like a boy band.

"Fans are used to advertising banners at festivals, but making them part of the song is not cool. There is no escape."
First off, I'd like to express my obvious displeasure at this. If anyone really need more money from their music it's the struggling indie bands out there, not Fergie. This is just ridiculous, you have to pay to listen to jingle that Fergie get paid to sing (unless you download her songs illegally). What is the logic in this? At the very least we should get the song for free. Do we pay to see ads on TV? Do we pay to hear commercials on the radio? Oh yeah, we pay for the electricity to run the TV or the radio to watch/listen to commercials but I doubt that electricity companies share the money the get with the artist.

Secondly, I don't think any song by Fergie, with or without product placement, has ever or will ever go down my throat smoothly. I distinctly remember the sensation of having to cough water out of my lungs. I usually don't choke on water (which always just flow smoothly pass my larynx and into my oesophagus without any trouble) unless I see or hear something extremely ridiculous and attempt the impossible multi-task of laughing and swallowing water. The last time I heard a Fergie's song was the horrible "London Bridge". It wasn't really the ridiculous music, the retarded lyrics or the awful vocal as much as the humping dance she did to the poor London guard. Who ever came up with that dance is seriously mentally deficient. How is that supposed to turn anyone on? If I see anyone doing that to another person I would think that the dancer is on some sort of sex heat and needs to hump anyone/anything that is humpable.

Thirdly, how can having product placement tarnish Fergie's credibility when she doesn't have any to start with?

Background material:
The ridiculous humping dance start at 0:48. Luckily, this time I'm fully prepared and am not drinking any sort of fluid or ingesting any solid. However, the song still refuses to go down my throat.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

What happens when anyone can write a dictionary entry

Hilarious chaos, that what happens. I was at Urban Dictionary today, intended to look up a word but ended up looking through some hilarious definitions. I never knew the term "Pussycat dolls" means "A group of whores who have destroyed any hope of raising children who won't grow up to be strippers" or the term "paris hilton" has as many meanings as:

(1) in physiology, to have an unusually small gluteus maximus
(2) hips unable to bear children
(3) jaundice
(4) anorexia
(5) a person who is only attractive to another person (sexually or no) for their ability to dress like a skank and their daddy's money (pimp or biological)
(6) no intellectual ability whatsoever
(7) ex girlfriend of and ex boy band member
(8) someone who features prominently on internet porn
(9) a person who does not worry about money ie. i person who buys excessive amounts of designer labels in order to be fashionable
(10) what is affectionately known of as a pub skank, white hair, orange skin and pointy features and who wears skirts that double as belts and stillettos that drill holes in concrete floors...
(11) fucking annoying
This is the best dictionary ever, contributors even give you examples of how you can use the terms. For instance, here's the example for the term "paris hilton" above:
She had a pair of paris hiltons, her first baby had a squashed head, her second had a bad case of paris hilton, and her third developed paris hilton syndrome in her teens. luckily she was a paris hilton, but some found her very fucking paris hilton.
I never knew a "Celine Dion" is "the only thing for which most Canadians apologize to America for on a daily basis" either. Or "Fergie" is both a noun and a verb as in:

1. (to be a Fergie) To be the token white girl or boy in a group of black origin. (not just in a musical context)

2. (to pull a Fergie) To think you can sing, yet when faced with a live performance, the other members have to keep you afloat because you're so bad.

3. (to be a Fergie) To be dog-ugly, really, actually look like a dog.

4. (to Fergie on) To completely destroy the credibility and respect a group once had or replace a greater former member (s).

1. Why the fuck is she hanging with us? We a black crew, she the only white girl, what a fuckin' Fergie!

2. Did you see Ciara perform "Goodies" last night? Damn, the girl hot as, but she pulled a Fergie fo sho!

3. I was nearly sick! She a Fergie if I ever saw one!

4. I used to be feelin' Destiny's Child, but Michelle just Fergied on them.

Oh well, you know the saying that goes something along the lines of you learn something new everyday.

This just goes to show me that people are opinionated creatures. We might not want to confront other people to their faces but we really love to have our opinion known. And reading other people arguing with one another over whose opinion is right is always fun. Take the "divided" opinion of the online world on Metacritic over Kevin Federline's debut album for instance. The album itself is infamous on Metacritic, it's the album that scores the lowest mark ever in Metacritic's short history. What drew me to read about it is the users' ratings and comments. Here's a screenshot of the most entertaining comments (click for bigger view):
I need to go off the topic here for a minute to say this: I hate people who don't spell correctly. You can say that I'm a bit anal about spellings. If you can't spell correctly, at the very least use Firefox. It's got spell checking, it's small and it's free.

Ok, back to the topic. Not everyone gave it a big fat red zero though. Look who's giving it a nice green 10.
But then Mr. Federline himself came back up and gave this glowing review:
Britney Spears also came back up and gave this updated review (probably after signing the divorce papers, shaving off her hair and joining a cult. Not necessarily in the order I typed out)
Which is what I ask myself every single time I read comments on blog posts from other people's blogs (I'd love to say from my blog also but, reality check, I don't get any comments). I guess you'll never know what other people's gonna type these days, as long as you have an internet connection and can speak and write English (to an extent considering the amount of wrong spellings on comments and blog posts these days) you can make your onion opinion known.

Bonus Links:
More definitions on Paris Hilton, Pussycat Dolls, Avril Lavigne, Celine Dion, Fergie.
More hilarious user reviews for K-Fed's "Playing with fire"

Monday, July 02, 2007


Another post about nothing in particular, I'm on holiday so what do you expect? You're supposed to do nothing (much) during holidays.

I took up walking again. It first started during the summer holiday through no initiation of my own. My mum made me do it. She was worried that she'd develop a heart condition if she doesn't exercise. She doesn't have any heart condition but she was worried nonetheless. So she started walking and she nagged me to do it. Nagging is annoying and the only way to stop the nagging is just do whatever the nagger wants. So I started walking. It wasn't very fun in summer, nothing but going swimming is fun in the forty-degree heat of the summer. But for winter, it's perfect.

I was feeling restless but too lazy to go out properly so walking solved that. Plus I'm listening to this book while walking. It's a great book but the guy who reads it has this monotone voice that would put you into sleep if you listen to it sitting or lying down. After one week of walking I've noticed this: only old people and mothers of toddlers walk to exercise. Oh yeah, and me. I'm fine with it really, at least I do some sort of exercise instead of planting myself firmly in the couch playing Halo like I did last year. I also found that you should never say hello to people your age while walking.

I'm not usually a friendly person when I walk to and from the train station. How can you be friendly when you're either out of breath because you're running late for the train or fucking pissed-off because of the idiots you have to stand next to on the train home? But when I walk to exercise I'm super friendly, I say hello to the people who walk in the opposite direction as me if they happen to be on the same side of the road. It'd be weird if you say hello to the people on the footpath on the other side of the road. Old people and little kids always say hello back. Even dogs sometimes do too. Of course they do it in a non-verbal way. Mothers of toddlers don't usually say hello back. I think they're too busy either being exhausted by their kids or being worried why suddenly there's this person saying hello to them. They're probably wondering if I have ulterior motives or something. One group of people you should never say hello to is highschool kids. I said hi to a group once and they looked at me like I'm from Mars. Obnoxious highschool kids.

Usually I don't initiate conversation with highschool kids for reason stated above. However, those obnoxious brats always the ones who initiate a sort of one-way conversation that always ends with me being fucking pissed-off. Oh those brats, they think they're so witty. I was in a shopping center a few weeks ago, minding my own business as usual, in walked two highschool chicks (who I was sure were wagging school because they looked too young to be in senior school and it was around 11 am so school couldn't have let out yet). They walked past me, one of them said hello to me in Chinese and the other one busted out laughing. I mean WTF? One way to piss me off is to speak Chinese to me, the other way is to laugh at me for no apparent reason. If I slip, land on my face and someone laughs at me I wouldn't be pissed-off at them, because at least there is a reason for them to laugh.

And then last week, I was walking my usual route, minding my own business as per usual. I walked past 2 guys standing in a corner of a street on the other side of the road. They said hello and waved at me. First I've said this before don't say hello to people you don't know who is on the other side of the road, it's weird but anyway, they initiated it, who am I to not be my friendly self? At least they said it in English. So I waved back and they started laughing. What the fuck is wrong with the young people in the area where I live? Do they all have this affliction to laugh for no apparent reason? The only reason, that I can think of, for their hilarity is that they didn't expect me to wave back at them. Maybe they thought I wouldn't understand the word "hello". Idiots, those two.

Before you ask, I don't do funny waves, I don't even do the retarded waves the royalties do. My wave is so normal usually people ignore it altogether so there is no reason why they should laugh at my wave.

Ok, that's all for now, here are two picture of a dead animal I saw on the footpath while walking. Does anybody know what it is? It's about 6 cm long and it's hairless.

Sunday, July 01, 2007

This week's favourite album

I picked up a copy of Editors' new album An End Has A Start last Saturday and it's been in the CD player ever since. This is one of the bands I've recently discovered through Don't know why I've never heard of them before, this is one awesome band. You'll like them if you like Interpol and Coldplay. They usually get compared to Interpol because their last album kinda sounded like Interpol. Anyhow, you can make up your mind about them.

Smokers outside hospital doors (first single off "An End Has A Start")

My favourite song off the album so far: The Racing Rats

Lights (off their first record "The Back Room")


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