Tuesday, January 30, 2007

God Warrior


Just when I thought no Youtube video post today. I found one. It's a clip from the show "trading spouses". I must say I find reality tv shows intrusive but this one time I'm thankful that they are intrusive.



That woman should really appear on "the biggest loser" and she is a loser also. Why yelling at her kids just because of having a non-Christian in the house? If every God warrior is a loudmouth hysterical bigot then I don't want any part of that. Oh I forgot, I already have no parts in that.
The whole time the woman was yelling I was thinking: "in the name of what's sane, shut your trap, lose some weight and calm down or you'll get a heart attack". It's really is a miracle she didn't have a heart attack right there and then. That'd make some good drama. I wonder what's the episode called? "In which a bigot went crazy"?


I don't want aspirin - a conversation with Granny.


Do you ever just wonder why it doesn't happen to you that you should do something quite obvious? Well, that happened to me, today. I suddenly realised that I've never really talked about my grandma before

Ok, to be completely honest, what actually happened was the fact that I haven't blogged for more than 7 days (and that's against my resolutions for this year if you're wondering why that's such a big deal, one of these days I'm gonna say "frak resolutions, I'm out of here" but it's not today) and I have absolutely nothing to write about.

Since I'm being completely honest, I do have a few somethings to write about but they're really really boring. For example, today I found out that if I'm a mythical god, I'd be Anubis. And who the hell is Anubis? Well, he's a very important guy.

Anubis was the Egyptian God of funerary rituals and the protector of the dead as well as the judge of souls and ruler of the underworld. Since it was his duty to weigh souls (along with the Goddess Maat) as a means of discovering the content of honesty, Anubis was also the God of truth.


Wow, I must say this is the first time these quizzes get me right. Can you imagine me as the ruler of the underworld? If you want to find out what mythical god you'd be if you're one, head over here. Before you ask, I don't usually frequent those love quizzes websites. I got the link from a Battlestar Galactica board.

Or I can talk about this insane letter I received today telling me that my name is at the top of the waiting list for Oral Surgery at The Royal Dental Hospital of Melbourne. What's insane about it is the fact that I have had the operation already. only 3 months ago, 2 weeks before my second semester exams. No wonder the waiting list at the Dental Hospital is so freaking long. They do their surgeries on the patients twice.

See what I mean? They're completely and utterly (is it a bit redundant to use 'completely' and 'utterly' in one sentence? oh well, what the hell?) boring. So there I was sitting with my screen blank and absolutely nothing to write about, not even a funny youtube video to save the day. And suddenly I remembered this conversation I had with my Grandma. Here's how it went:

GRAN
(opened the door to my room, sneaked up on me while I was listening to very loud Stabbing Westward music on my kick-ass, 30%-off-boxing-day-sale headphones)
Na*, can you find me some paracetamol?

ME
(recovering from an almost heart attack and barely holding back swearing "Jesus F---ing Christ!")
Sure Gran, one sec.

ME
(after having dug through the medicine cabinet and found anything but Paracetamol)
Gran, I can't find any Paracetamol but I have some Aspirin pH8.

GRAN
I don't do Aspirin, it's gonna burn my stomach.

ME
I'm sure this won't burn your stomach, it's pH8.

GRAN
(probably thinking what a useless space-wasting ass I was)
Yes it will. I'll just wait until your mum comes home.

ME
(happily retreat back to my room and even louder Stabbing Westward music)
ok.

That's the conversation. Not a verbatim version of the conversation though coz the actual conversation was in Vietnamese and my grandma doesn't talk teenage-style. See, [sarcasm] we were great conversationalists, communication really brings harmony to the family [/sarcasm].

Ok, I'm turning off sarcastic mode. The truth is I can't stand my grandma sometimes, make it most of the time, and that conversation is one of the example why. I could have launched into a lengthy explanation of why normal aspirin will cause discomfort if you take it on an empty stomach since it's an acid and aspirin pH8 won't because it's basic. However, that would mean explaining to my grandma, who is in her mid-nineties, about the pH system and that would mean I have to reason with her. If you know my grandma like I do, she's an unreasonable kind of lady most of the time.

Even if I did explain everything to her she wouldn't have believed me. However she won't have any problem believing what somebody from her church group tells her. I swear she'd drink the aspirin pH8 without asking any question if someone from a church group tells her that it's safe. Something similar happened to us before. Some lady told my Grandma that there's this plant that would help lower your blood pressure if you chew them raw or something. After a few kilograms of the stuff my "skeptical" Grandma's blood pressure sky rocketed. I guess the desired effect of the stuff is to increase your blood pressure astronomically then lower it down by a teeny tiny bit.

That does say something about trust though. My grandma has problems trusting me, a member of her family, while she has no qualms about trusting a stranger. How does that work, Gran? Oh well, she asked for help, I tried, she didn't accept it, so be it.

----------------
* what my family members use to call me.

Monday, January 22, 2007

This should cheer Jacob up


Ok, so who is Jacob? Are you kidding me? He's running for President of the US. Nah, just joking, Jacob's only a cool dude from Bent My Wookie where I frequent.

The thing is Jacob is trying to over the uni offer blue. Cheer up Jacob, you're not missing out on anything. I'm telling you this from the infinite wisdom of a soon-to-be second year uni student: UNI SUCKS.

Also, I found this rare gem of wisdom from Bowling For Soup. And I do mean "rare" when I said rare. You normally don't find anything that resembles wisdom in Bowling For Soup's songs.


Sunday, January 21, 2007

Lazy post


I know I've been absent for a while now. I think I've got this condition called blogger-block. There's just nothing to write about. Ok, I'm just lazy and can't be bothered to find anything to write about so the condition I've got is just pure simple laziness.

I expect myself to get over this condition pretty soon. In the mean time here's a funny video from youtube.



And this one too, however, it's just SO WRONG and so funny.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

I'm not angry


I've just realized that I've been quite angry this week but that couldn't be helped. I didn't just wake up and decided that I'd be angry that I'd be angry that day. It just happened that a few things pissed me off this week.

However I'm through with being angry, at least for today. How can I be angry when I've just climbed up to my chair after having fallen off it in a fit of laughter?

Yup, I've just finished rolling around the floor laughing my ass off and that's the best cure for pissedum offus. I found the list of worst company URLs and man, I haven't laughed this hard for ages.

The top 10 unintentionally worst company URLs

Try Netflix for Free!

Attn: Entrepreneurs
Everyone knows that if you are going to operate a business in today’s world you need a domain name. It is advisable to look at the domain name selected as other see it and not just as you think it looks. Failure to do this may result in situations such as the following (legitimate) companies who deal in everyday humdrum products and services but clearly didn’t give their domain names enough consideration:

1. A site called ‘Who Represents‘ where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name… wait for it… is
www.whorepresents.com

2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at
www.expertsexchange.com

3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at
www.penisland.net

4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at
www.therapistfinder.com

5. Then of course, there’s the Italian Power Generator company…
www.powergenitalia.com

6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales:
www.molestationnursery.com

7. If you’re looking for computer software, there’s always
www.ipanywhere.com

8. Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church. Their website is
www.cummingfirst.com

9. Then, of course, there’s these brainless art designers, and their whacky website:
www.speedofart.com

10. Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe? Try their brochure website at
www.gotahoe.com



You can find the original post plus more hilarious stuffs at Independent Sources
Hope you like it as much as I did. Gee, www.penisland.net. That cracks me up every time.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

WTF??


Catholic hospitals manage to irk my ire, again. Last time a Catholic hospital refused to let a fertility centre use its premises for IVF treatment. This time they're turning on raped victims.

Looks like the Church's new plan to reduce abortion rate in Australia is to buy out all public hospitals. Why they're at it, why don't they buy out all the pharmacies and supermarket and bans condoms too?

Church bars raped women from pill

SEXUALLY assaulted women who seek help at Catholic-controlled hospitals cannot be referred to rape crisis centres that supply morning-after pills, under church policy.

The policy, spelt out in an 80-page ethics document, has heightened concerns among doctors and rape counsellors about the Catholic Church's growing control of hospitals.

And The Australian reveals today that another fertility centre has been told to move out by the Catholic buyers of the hospital where it is based. One prominent doctor said she had long been concerned at the church's rape policy, which is contained in an ethics document approved by the Catholic hierarchy in 2001.

The Code of Ethical Standards, compiled by Catholic Health Australia, says direct referral of raped women to centres that offer the morning-after pill "should only occur if reasonable steps have been taken to exclude the likelihood of pregnancy".

Senior Catholic spokesmen defended the policy as a logical and ethical extension of the church's opposition to the morning-after pill, which it considers morally no different to abortion. But Melbourne GP and medical broadcaster Sally Cockburn said she was "blown out of the water" when she read the policy.

"If this is the way their staff are mandated to behave, then I don't believe rape victims should be taken to their hospitals at all," Dr Cockburn said.

"They have no right to make us follow their point of view, and if they're going to be taking over more hospitals, I'm concerned."

Karen Willis, of the NSW Rape Crisis Centre, said it was standard practice for a raped woman to be offered the morning-after pill, if there was a real risk of her becoming pregnant with her attacker's child. "To not offer someone the morning-after pill would be negligence as far as we are concerned," she said.

Catholic-controlled health organisations control more than 70 hospitals in Australia - and added one more this week, the Wesley Hospital in Townsville.

The buy-out by the rival Catholic Mater Misericordiae Hospital is subject to approval by competition regulators. But the Queensland Fertility Group, which offers in-vitro fertilisation and other fertility treatments at the site, confirmed yesterday it had already been told it must find premises elsewhere. Catholic doctrine is opposed to IVF.

QFG Townsville director Ron Chang said the forced relocation was annoying, but predicted it would not interrupt services.

The Australian revealed on Tuesday that Canberra's John James Hospital - bought in October by a Catholic-controlled organisation - had begun withdrawing services to the Canberra Fertility Centre, which was based on its premises.

Catholic Health Australia chief Francis Sullivan said that as well as private hospitals, Catholic organisations ran 21 public hospitals around the nation that would also have to follow the ethics policy.

Mr Sullivan said health workers in Catholic hospitals "are not prevented from giving information" about abortion, the morning-after pill or any other treatment. "The only restriction would be that the staff are not permitted to directly refer women to abortion services," he said.

Catholic health ethics spokesman Bishop Anthony Fisher said the ban was a logical extension of the church's position on the use of the morning-after pill.



If they call this ethical I'm not sure what's unethical now. If raped victims seek help, they deserved to be helped. I understand that Catholics are against abortion and morning after pills but if you're unwilling to help at least refer them to someone who is willing.

And what's with this bullshit?
Mr Sullivan said health workers in Catholic hospitals "are not prevented from giving information" about abortion, the morning-after pill or any other treatment. "The only restriction would be that the staff are not permitted to directly refer women to abortion services," he said.

I'm pretty sure what little information the staffs are allowed to give out about abortion will be laced with the Church's doctrine. They might as well put up a sign that says "Just got raped? Don't come here we won't help".



Tuesday, January 09, 2007

What are they thinking??


I've just discovered Netvibes, it's an amazing, customisable website. Just register and chuck in some of your favourite RSS feeds and you'll get the only page you ever need to check everyday. It can check your email accounts too but I am a bit skeptical about giving email login infos to a third party.
Anyhow, it's a great way to keep up with the news. For example, do you know that "The OC" will end this season [Yay, I really don't like that show] and that Brangelina supports Madonna's adoption?
However, the news are also for other serious stuffs.

What can be considered serious? Well, how about a the future of internet pornography? No, they're not gonna remove all the porn on the net, how can they? The internet was built to spread porn. No, they're only proposing to banish all porn sites to a new domain dedicated for porn. And guess what it's gonna end in? Guess! It's gonna end in ".xxx". Wow, what a revelation! The future of internet pornography: "www.porn.xxx". How come I didn't see that one coming?

OK, I'm getting serious now. There's been some interesting news regarding some Catholics. First there was the newly-appointed and newly-resigned Archbishop of Warsaw. Anyone who says priests don't lie should really take a look at this.

First he refused out right that he had anything to do with dirty little communists. It turned out he did have a lot to do with communists back in the 70s. What's more alarming for the Catholic Church's image is this:

But historians estimate that up to 15% of Polish clergy agreed to inform on their colleagues in the communist era.


Wow, clergymen are men after all. They do tell lies. Everybody lies. Some do it more often than others and if you lie for a long enough period of time, the lies become truth.

Since we're talking about lies, I really wanna get this out of my system: Shakira. What the hell is "hips don't lie"? How can hips lie when they don't have mouths or brains coz those are the basic requirements for lie-telling. That was a terrible song and as is the case with terrible songs, it just sticks to your brain and replays itself over and over and over until all you can think about is "hips don't lie" and you start talking to the melody of the song. I'm sorry I went off topic like this but I just can't get that song out of my head. Oh great! Now I have Kylie's "can't get you out of my head" playing alongside "hips don't lie". "Hips don't lie" was bad, the video clip was awful. Personally, I think the parodies of the clip are better than the official clip.


Another incident involving Catholic is this one involving a Catholic hospital in Canberra refusing to let the Canberra Fetility Centre use its premises for IVF treatments. And for what? Some old, misguided religious doctrine from thousands of years ago. This hospital is acting as if everybody wants to use IVF to get pregnant instead of the normal, much cheaper, and natural way. News flash people, only desperate people who can't get pregnant through the normal channels use IVF.

And then there was the controversy about Health Minister Tony Abbott contracting a Christian counselling service for the government's telephone pregnancy counselling service last week. I can understand the Catholic Church's position regarding abortions but isn't it ultimately the decision of the mothers? Choosing to have an abortion is not something you do without first thinking about all the consequences. Why would you try to convince people who have already agonised over their decision that they are baby-killing monsters?

Sunday, January 07, 2007

in which I found my superhuman power


I've just started watching TV again out of boredom and mostly because of the tennis tournaments leading to the Australian Open. I must say that I'm quite impressed by Channel Seven, in the space of time between the various breaks between tennis games it has almost managed to persuade me to tune in this year for various US shows like "Gray's Anatomy", "Prison Break" and the new-comer "Heroes".

I did say almost right? Right! Why almost you might ask. Well, it's because Seven has this bizarre policy that always, always blow a 45 minute episode to a massive one hour and fifteen minute affair. I suppose it's only fair because it's free to air TV but I like my shows uninterrupted thank you very much.

However, Seven did persuade me that I should have a look at "Heroes". Why not really? Superheroes with super powers, possible supervillains. That's the recipe for a good movie but will it work with TV? I did have my doubts about this show however. It sounds a lot like X-men, Spiderman and Radioactive man. So I had a look at it. I wasn't gonna wait around until Seven shows it some time in 07 though. What I found in the past is that the "coming soon" messages TV networks put on their ads are absolutely bullshit. They say "coming soon" in December the year before and you get to see it in March the following year. In what universe does that define "soon"?

Anyhow, I wanted to watch the show and that was where the internet came in. I love the internet. You can find absolutely every popular show there and since I've got a few gigs to spare on my download account I got the first episode of "Heroes" home for a sneak peek. It was alright. It's more like "X-men: the coming of power stories". The show, for at least the first episode, deals more with how people cope with their super powers when they suddenly appear. The show set forth the premise that super powers in human are the next evolutionary step of the species which is exactly what X-men is about. There're a teenager whose tissues regenerate at the speed of um... a bicycle going down a 25 degree slope (Wolverine anyone?), a 30 year old nurse who thinks he can fly without wings, an artist who can paint the future when he's high on dope, and a twenty-something Japanese guy who can bend space time continuum. So far, there's no freaky guy who can bend metal objects yet.

So, after I watched the first episode I thought, hey what if I have some kind of super power? I know that's really silly of me to think that but hey I've got nothing to do so I might just do anything to amuse myself. The next question to pop up was "what super power do I have?".

I could scratch the tissue regeneration right off the bat. I spent 1 week recovering from having my wisdom teeth removed. But I might have developed my super tissue regeneration ability since then. However, I wasn't gonna go jump down from a tower or running into burning building to see how fast my tissues gonna regenerate.

Ditto with flying, there was no way I can safely test if I could fly. I might have the ability to see the future but I wasn't gonna get high on dope to test out that possibility. So that left me with the space time continuum bending then.

In the show, the Jap guy just had to concentrate and he could stop time. That sounded relatively painless to me so I tried that. I got my alarm clock, which I had banished out of my sight after I finished the last exam, out, put a battery in and concentrated on slowing time.

The first 5 minutes, nothing happened but hey, nobody succeeds at the first attempt so I kept at it. The next 10 minutes, still nothing. By this time I was concentrating and cursing space time continuum at the same time. I was ready to banish the clock back to its dark place again. Then something happened. It stopped. And didn't start up again.

I didn't go straight to the conclusion that I possessed superpower then. Ever the skeptic, me. There might have been a few reasons for this: the battery might be dead, I didn't put the battery in properly. There was no freaking way I could stop time. When I was getting ready to check out the battery, my sister came in and saw me.

Sis: What are you doing with that clock?
Me: Looking at it. What do you think I'm doing?
Sis: Dunno. But you should know that that clock is broken.
Me: Broken? I just bought it last year. It was working fine 10 minutes ago.
Sis: Dunno. I dropped it last month and something sort of came flying out.

Yup, mysterious superpower solved. It's just another case of made-in-China stuffs can't stand up to the challenge of gravity.

Friday, January 05, 2007

Southern Fundamentalists to embrace local dykes??


Aren't you at least a little bit curious about that? If you are read on or follow this link to the original site you'll know. Enjoy!

Spelling Mishap Causes Southern Fundamentalists to Embrace Local Dykes

by Suzanne Rush 06/21/2006

churchsignOKEECHOBEE, FLORIDA – With Alberto, the first named hurricane of 2006 bearing down on their town last week, parishioners at Okeechobee South Baptist Church began praying for the welfare of local dykes. This marks a turn-around for the fundamentalist congregation that, only last month, held a “Gay marriage will be legalized over my dead body” bake sale.

But Pastor John Hotchkiss claims his flock just misunderstood a recent sermon during which he asked them to pray for the wellbeing of the aging Herbert Hoover dike that holds back the waters of neighboring Lake Okeechobee.

“All I said, was that after what happened in Godless New Orleans, we needed to put in a good word with the Lord to ask that our dikes get special treatment from the government this year,” Hotchkiss explained. “But, I guess some people took my message the wrong way. Plus,” he added angrily, “that idiot Earl can’t spell to save his G*d#@mn*d life!”

Earl, South Baptist’s handyman, claims he ran out of vowels when putting up the church’s sermon marquee that week, and decided to make a quick substitution. “No one can take a joke around here,” the flamboyantly-dressed Earl responded when asked about the mix-up. “Hotchkiss didn’t think it was funny when I asked him to go away on a fishing trip with me last year, either.”

After the controversial address, South Baptist’s parishioners drove to the local lesbian bar and began a prayer vigil around the pool table. Bar owner Beth “Spike” Baldwin was initially alarmed to see the two-dozen fundamentalist Christians flooding into her establishment. “But after a few drinks, they turned out to be real nice folks,” she said. “Their needlepoint club is even going to make some sections for the AIDS quilt. Hey, better late than never.”

When told about the series of mistakes, Sally DeAngelis, South Baptist’s organist, admitted that initially she had been “pretty surprised” about the Pastor’s message. “I thought maybe Herbert Hoover dikes were like those Log Cabin guys. We’re all Republicans, right? But after he explained, I got to thinking that there must be a reason that hurricane season and Gay Pride month begin at the same time. After all, there are no random coincidences with God.”

DeAngelis now spearheads the church’s float committee, and will be riding on their entry in Okeechobee’s first Pride parade later this month.

“The float will be a giant, rainbow-hued, papier-mache dike and I’ll be riding it dressed in drag as the Little Dutch Boy,” she said, wagging her finger for emphasis. “I’ve even got the wooden shoes.”

Pastor Hotchkiss said he felt a bit defeated by the whole debacle, and would be preaching about something safe this coming Sunday — like why Jesus wants women to earn less money than men.





Is this the end?


Saddam was executed last year but what is the significance of his death? One can't help but feel that his death will fuel escalated violence in Iraq.


Bush said that Saddam's execution is a key step towards democracy. How can that be when his "trial" was just a flimsy excuse for revenge? Why would they try him for the massacre of 148 Shiite villagers and not for the thousands of people who died in his torture chambers or for the gassing of 5000 villagers? Why did they use that sorry excuse for a court to convict him? Why was he convicted of one of his lesser crimes? Why all the haste to execute him? Why wasn't he tried under an international court?

Indeed there are quite a few why's about Saddam's trial and subsequent execution. In the court's haste to kill off Saddam, "justice" came out looking like medieval revenge and Saddam retained a quiet dignity until the end which undoubtedly has promoted him to the status of a martyr.

And the full-length, dolby surround sound and high definition widescreen video mobile phone captured execution videos on youtube doesn't help in anything but put more fuel to the fire. The official video was muted and only showed the beginning and the end of the execution. The full-length version? Nothing is missed. That included Saddam being taunted through out the ordeal and was killed before he finished his last prayer. I was tempted to take a look at the videos posted on youtube. I actually loaded it home but chickened out of watching it in the end. It's one thing to know that someone was killed at the end of a rope, it's another thing watching the process.

I'm one of those people who have mixed feelings about capital punishment. Sometimes it's deserved but most of the time it's not. I think we humans have come far beyond the medieval justice system. And frankly, death is an escape, it is too light a punishment. Saddam, undoubtedly, deserved the death penalty but death is not justice. Justice for the much deserved 148 Shiite villagers but not for the thousands of death at the hands of his administration. Now he would go into history as that dude who was sentenced to death for killing 148 people. It would have been much better if he was made to live and face the justice for ALL his crimes and was made to repent until the end of his natural life.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

How do prayers work?


I know, I know, everybody knows how prayers work. You say them, preferably in a church, maybe under the Virgin Mary's feet or something, cross your fingers and hope God listens, cross your fingers again and hope God listens and will act to bring about what you ask. But really how do prayers work? Nobody's written a book called "prayers - how they work for dummies" yet. I just find prayers confusing.


I'm not talking about the textbook prayers like "hail Mary", I'm talking about prayers that's more like Christmas wishes but people just do it anytime. You know, the please-let-me-win-the-lottery kind of prayers. Those prayers just don't make sense. Not that I'm saying the textbook prayers make any sense.

Why don't they make sense? Because they're kinda contradicting God. You see,assuming there is a god, he supposedly had this "divine plan" to create the universe. And he did put a lot of thinking and planning into this divine plan of his. The divine plan is supposed to have everything planned, including the apocalypse the Church's been telling us for thousands of years. He liked it and he put it into action. And that is why humans, and their annoying prayers are on Earth.

What I don't get is how do prayers fit into this "divine plan". If God actually makes prayers come true then what's the point of the "divine plan" when anyone can change it with a sloppy request? Then again, not all prayers come true. Maybe it's because some of them fit into the divine plan and some don't. Hence the ones that fit work and the rest of the prayers just go to hell. Which means God would not change his divine plan prayers or no prayers. Then what's the point of praying when God's gonna do what he likes anyhow, with or without your request?

See? It's all very confusing. In the past there has been claims, from religious folks, that the collapse of communism was an answer to prayer. How can religious people be so sure about that? Doesn't that mean God had intended to have communism in his divine plan but due to popular prayer to boot communism from his plan he actually ditched his plan in favour to that of the what people want? Then God wouldn't be omniscient. What kind of an omniscient being that planned for something that went so horribly wrong that all his "children" had to ask him to ditch his plan?

So this is how prayers work:



Link
prayer experiment

Which is quite callous and too much like reality TV if you ask me. Wait a minute, reality TV might be modeled on God's prayer system for all we know. He might has the idea when he was brainstorming his "divine plan" that human should be able to decide some Idol contestant's future in a similar way to how he decides which prayer to come true.

Anyhow, why should I care? There is no God and prayers are just time-wasting sentimental.

Monday, January 01, 2007

HAPPY NEW YEAR!


Yeah, bring on 2007!

 

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