Sunday, March 25, 2007

In which I found out I look like a man

Perhaps I haven't been really forthcoming about my gender. But if you read between the lines enough, you will find out that I'm in fact a girl. But then I barely have any readers and my readers barely have time to read the actual lines let alone between the fracking lines. My fault really, I never come out and say that I'm a female.

Whatever, now that that part is over you can understand my amazement when I found out that I look like a man. Do I really look like a man. Granted that I've never really been a girly girl, you know, the type that wears frilly pink skirts and plays with Barbies. And granted that my hair is a bit shorter than what I used to have last year. But to say that I look like a man is a bit of a stretch.

I wouldn't have put this in my blog had it only happened once. However it happened twice in the same week and I don't have anything else to write so there you go. The first time it was this primary kid that I'm tutoring (or sort of tutoring). Funny kid, I showed her how to spell and all for an hour and then she asked me innocently: "Are you a boy or a girl?". At the time, I just thought, "this kid is weird, haven't she seen a girl before?" and before you ask, I didn't wear baggy clothes that day, but I didn't wear pink frilly clothes that day either so the kid's question was very distantly understandable.

Then the second incident happened. I was waiting for my mum, it was fracking hot and I couldn't be bothered getting my ipod out to listen while waiting so I just sat on this bench. And then a mother and her daughter (who's about 5 years old) walked pass and the kid said to her mum: "Look mum it's a man". I was reading a book so I don't know if the stupid kid pointed at me while saying this or not. When I heard that comment, I thought, maybe she was talking about some man exercising around (what is with people exercising in really hot weather anyway?). I sort of felt bad for the kid too coz she delivered that line in the same tone that any kid that age would say "Look mum, it's a tiger" when they see one in a zoo. You know, the kind of tone that implies she has never seen "a man" before and it's the most amazing sight she has ever beheld. But then the mother delivered the punch in a little voice: "it's a lady, not a man".

After I heard that I'm extremely convinced the kid has never seen a fracking man before. How else can she mistake a girl with boobs, albeit not the kind of ballooned boobs the Baywatch chicks all seem to have, for a man????

I went to buy "American Psycho" from Borders the day after that. Everything went normally until I had this um... conversation with the guy behind the checkout.

This might seem like an insult but...
ME: [thinking]
Oh my fracking god, he's gonna ask me if I'm a guy or a girl. Why is that relevant to me buying a book? He looks kinda gay, is he trying to hit on me? No, he doesn't look gay, is he still trying to hit on me? Dammit, I'm gonna complain to his supervisor.
... do you have any ID on you...
ME: [still thinking]
Frack! He's not only trying to find out my gender, he's trying to find out my address too. Shit, I've got a stalker.
... because you have to be over 18 to buy this book.
ME: [able to stop thinking and speak at last]

Stupid guy, he didn't finish the sentence immediately, he left it hanging like that for what seemed like a second. Let me tell you something, there's a lot a person can think in one second. A lot.
What doesn't make sense is why a book can be rated R. OK, I guess books can be rated R too but "American Psycho" was available at my high school for anyone to borrow, regardless of age. And it was an all girl high school too. Damn, way to go messing up young girls' mind.

That's the most memorable thing that happened to me this week. Apart from that it's very much a boring week. An update on celebrity-look-alike lecturer: Betty doesn't look like Betty. Ok, that came out not very right. I mean that Betty the lecturer doesn't look like Betty the Ugly. The only similarity between Betty and Betty is the name Betty. The end.

And to end this post with a multimedia item. Take a look at this horrible movie trailer. Oh, it's a horror movie, not a spoof horror movie. What can they come up next? psychotic Teddy bears? Serial killer ducks?

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