sssadf aer adfadf or the "I don't know what to call this post" post

As promised, more pictures. By now you would have realised that I don't like taking pictures of myself using my own camera or using anyone's cameras for that matter. If I ever decide to upload pictures onto my facebook account (I wonder if it's still there as I type this, I heard somewhere that you can't delete whatever you put up there once it's up there) you won't see me in it for sure.

I took a whole bunch of pictures during the trip but they're pretty much pictures of scenery and inanimate objects. Some looked pretty cool actually, once I've learned some photoshop chops I'll upload the results.

I probably won't be updating for a while unless I feel like procrastinating. Until then, enjoy the following tune. The title describes what I feel right now, just remove the "ex" from the last word and substitute "tudying" in.



PS. Pinkerton is a freaking good album.

What happened in Ballarat, the lessons learned

Here I go getting the story on record as vague as I can. For the tell-all version, you'll have to find my other blog which I doubt you can so you're gonna have to make do with this version.

On the scale of unpleasantness writing a blog post right now is slightly a little less unpleasant than studying. On the same scale of unpleasantness, I don't know where the whole 3 weeks of Ballarat would be. It depends on what side of the bed I get up on each day. My feelings regarding those 3 weeks range from rather bleak to "hey it's over" (which is such a cop-out kind of feeling).

The worst of it was finding out what you thought about a certain situation/place/person was fucking spot-on. Somehow confirmation of what was in my head, the absolute worst thing that I thought could happen, actually made it worst. I tend to think in a sort of worst-case scenarios so when slightly less-bad scenarios happen I can at least say to myself "well, at least it's not the worst thing that can happen". I thought if the worst-case scenarios ever become reality I would say, in my usual outwardly nonchalance, to myself "hey, you've lived through the worst, there's nothing worse", except, maybe, that happening again.

• Lesson learned no. 1: do not ever try to confirm the worst.
  

If you know me, I'm not a big fan of confrontations. I don't go looking for them, I ignore them if they pop up, I even go as far as accepting responsibility even if it isn't actually my fault. All in the name of keeping the peace. On a good day when I'm puffed full of my own importance I would say I was being noble. On a bad day I would say I was being a coward. On a normal day I would not acknowledge that I have two rather polarised positions on the same issue, which, unsurprisingly and ironically enough, brings us back to my avoidance of confrontations even self-confrontations.

• Lesson learned no. 2: be less noble or grow a spine, start looking out for your own interests instead of other people's.

This is kinda related to lesson no. 1 and 2 for that matter, I had a recent conversation with a friend whereupon the questions "When did you realise that a certain situation/person can be like that? Didn't you already suspect that something like that can happen?" were asked. My replies to those would be "a long time ago" and "yeah". What I thought was only my opinion and people's opinions can differ greatly. Fuck it, even my own opinions on the same thing can differ greatly. I usually shelf my opinion until someone else voiced a similar view. I don't know why I need to validate my own opinion that way. Maybe it's because I'm not quite comfortable with feelings that are not the norm. Or maybe I just don't want to think the worst of every situation/person, I'm already cynical, I don't need to be more cynical.

• Lesson learned no. 3: what you feel is absolutely perfect even if it's not the norm.

In regards to the lessons learned, I think that the whole trip was quite illuminating, how else are you gonna learn if you don't make a mess of it? The same cannot be said for lesson no. 4 which I did learn in those 3 weeks.

• Lesson learned no. 4: I don't think I've been doing number 2 correctly.

There, I hope this post explains something or maybe nothing, I know it doesn't really tell you what happened and there's the whole introspective self-centred ramblings going on (introverts are self-centred I tell ya, all the things that are wrong have got to have something to do with them) but that's all you're gonna get here.

this is later and here are some more pictures

Those are the pictures of the Wendouree lake in Ballarat. It used to have a lot of water but now it doesn't have as much (unlike Jenny from the block, she used to have little now she has a lot). When I saw that there was a lake on the map I got excited since it looked pretty big. I actually took the pictures in a reversed, I took the third picture first. That was my first look at the lake. Rather underwhelming. The second picture was taken a day after a whole day of raining. The first picture was from almost the other side of the lake.

I think I'm gonna drag these pictures out over several posts, mainly because I need to apply a lot of wit to them to transform them from same old boring pictures to ...um wit-filled, funny pictures. See if you can spot a Death Cab reference there. That's pretty obvious, if you can't you:

a. Have no idea what the heck Death Cab is or who they are (i.e. your music knowledge sucks).
b. Maybe know who they are but have never heard that song (which is quite unlikely because that song is probably their best song)
c. Can't read English good (if so, what the heck are you doing reading my blog?)
d. Are blind thus you can't see the picture (if so, you're missing out).
e. All of the above
f. Are still reading this and probably wondering why are there 6 options to choose from, aren't multiple choice questions usually give a maximum of 5 options?

3 weeks and this is all you get??!!!

I know, as a reader of my blog I would be outraged too. But assignments to do, things to hand in, exams to study for, etc. and don't forget, table to sort out. More pictures later I guess.