Sunday, July 26, 2009
I know, I know I was supposed to update this 4 weeks ago. That was when my mid-year holiday started. What can I say? Shit happened that prevented me from posting. I should say that shit happened that ruined my mood for doing anything in general and blogging specifically. Nothing physically prevented me from blogging. I still possess 10 fingers and 10 toes and regretfully one head and one brain. I'll give you a dot point version of the last month:
- Exams finished
- I gained some weight due to lack of physical activities
- I lost some weight due to stress
- Rejections rejections rejections galore
- I lost a family member
Wow, what a bombshell. My grandmother passed away. You'll be surprised how conversations tend to fizzle out when someone's death is mentioned. This will sound callous but I had thought last year that I would be glad when she's gone. There was a lot of "drama" involved in having my grandmother living with us. Her family was so dysfunctional it was not funny. Having her living with us made us prone to "drama" and dysfunction as well. I resented that. Her passing didn't make me feel glad. I felt sad, guilty, melancholy. I was a fucking emo for a whole week after that. I am still a bit emo when I see her pictures and something of hers in the house.
There was a lot of crying. The phone seemed to constantly ring. I went to the funeral service at a church. I hadn't been to a church in a while. I spent the duration of the service pondering on 2 things. The pointlessness of prayers and the lesson one should learn from my grandmother's life. Now assuming that there is a god and he is omniscient why does he need us mere mortals to tell him something he should be aware of already? And if he is not aware how can we humans have the audacity to ask him to change planned events just to suit us? Does god even have a firm plan for the universe?
As to what one (meaning me) should learn from my grandmother's life, I came to these concise points
- don't have children
- if you do have children, don't give them any money
- if you do give them money, be fair
- don't judge
Yup, it was time well spent in the church
What else happened? I found myself inheriting a DSLR from the Alarmist. Yup more photos. Well not really, I'm still debating about continuing with the photos here. I'm still debating about having this blog at all. We'll see.