finally I can really pack up my lecture notes and forget about them for 3 months

The exam results came out today. I'm not entirely happy with them but hey I pass everything and get to keep my meagre and more-anxiety-that-it's-worth scholarship for another year. I guess some celebration is in order. More happy, summery music.

it's not the movies that scare me, it's the damn background music or why the Liberals lost the election

Finally, we won't see Howard as the Prime Minister anymore and we won't ever see Peter Costello as the PM or even the leader of the opposition either. I don't know why but I'm not in a celebratory mood even though I voted for the ALP. I had fun watching the vote counting commentaries though. That was even better than watching .... Damn, I can't even think of anything I've watched recently on TV. Anyway, I had a great time possibly because I wasn't paying attention to the dire situation the Lib were in or the frequent cheering that was going on in the background (possibly from the Lab). I was paying attention on these:

• Election smiley posters from candidates that were splashed on the screen every now and then whenever their electorates came up. I cracked out laughing at those because seriously all those pictures looked so phoney and they would have done much better not smiling in those pictures.
• Trying to eat dinner while containing my laughter. This activity demands a lot of concentration.
• Listening to the Alarmist's commentaries on which commentators have had their teeth whitened (all of them), had a denture (some of them), or had some work done in regards to teeth. She only stayed for a bit though so her commentaries were short and hilarious, albeit irrelevant to the topic being discussed by the commentators and what I was trying to pay attention to - getting food to go down the right pipe.

So the Lib lost, obviously their scare campaign didn't work. What were these guys thinking? Dragging records of interest rates from the 80s out and naming all those "union bosses" in the ALP ranks. The 80s are ancient history to someone who starts voting this year and I don't think many people want to remember the 80s, nobody looked good in whatever they were dressing up in in the 80s. The scare campaign just did not work.

Here's the reason why I think the Lib have lost touch with the voters, they don't know what people are scared of anymore. People aren't scared of union bosses and possible interest rate rises. I'll tell you some of what people (i.e. me, myself & I) are scared of

• Lost of access to the internet (trust me on this one without the internet, civilisation as we know it will crumble because people lost their daily fix of Facebook, Myspace, Youtube or Yourface or Facespace or whatever new ways clever people dream up to keep in touch with nowadays)
• Facebook account got suspended (some person got a nervous breakdown after their account was suspended for no reason. Personally, I don't see what's the big deal with Facebook. Does anyone know this because I would love to know)
• Bittorrent networks go offline.
• M'n'Ms only come in blue.
• Vampires, vengeful spirits that walk out of a TV to kill and basically anything horror movie writers cook up these days.

I know it's hard to threaten people that by voting for Labour you will run the risk of getting internet, MyFace or whatever social network, and all the colours of M'n'Ms except blue banned and look credible at the same time so here's my suggestion on how to improve on the Lib's scare campaign: add scary background music.

I know I have been ,sort of, joking around in this post so far but I'm completely serious in this paragraph. Have you ever watched a scary movie without sounds? I have the horror movie turned out to be so funny. Just watch those actors trying to be scared and all those scary characters trying to be menacing without the ominous background music and the sudden loud drums, it's hilarious. I watched the Ring 2 last week without sounds and it was an eye-opening experience on how movies scare people.

So my suggestion to the Liberals is that they take note of the tried-and-true convention of horror movies next time they decide to run a scare campaign.

To a not completely unrelated note, I saw "30 days of night" last week and I was scared and bored by the movie. The scare only lasted for a few seconds and, you guess it, it's not the visuals of people chopping vampires or soon-to-be vampires' heads off, it's the goddamn fracking background music. I was bored the rest of the time I wasn't scared so it's not a good movie. The Alarmist, on the other hand, was scared and horrified. She was scared because of the movie, obviously. She was horrified because the "vampires" had open bites and that will not allow them to rip people's throat out effectively. Not to Vampires movie maker, consult a dentist before you make fake teeth for your vampires or movie goers who are dentists will not take your movie seriously.


Get your own playlist at snapdrive.net!

Crazy exam question

In my opinion, any exam question is crazy. I think the whole concept of exam is crazy. It makes people go crazy with stress and do crazy things like getting up at 3.15 am to study until 5 am and then go back to sleep just to get up at 6 am to have breakfast and back to study again.

Or at least that was what I thought was crazy until I was shown this exam question by the Alarmist. Note that this is a first year dental science exam question.

Imagine you are an animal who live on land and eats a diet composed of dry grass & roots. How does your dentition, jaw & tooth structure help you live?

What was the examiner smoking when he/she dreamt up this question was what I thought after I finished laughing at the question. This question inspired me to rewrite one question I got last year for Physiology.
"Imagine you are a sperm that is being made. Describes the various conditions of the various environments you are/will be in until you reach the egg. Include in your answer the various mechanisms and muscles that help propel you out of the male reproductive tract."

I guess hilarious questions call for equally hilarious answers. After all, the examiner did ask the students to imagine themselves to be some animals. Here's an excerpt of the Alarmist's answer. The hilarity wears off after a few paragraphs.

I live on land and eat a diet composed of grass and roots, therefore this is clearly reflected in my dentition jaws and tooth structure.
Because grass is relatively low in nutrients, I need to eat a lot. I need a large manible to hold all my large teeth.
Eating grass involves a great deal of grinding and lateral movements, therefore I need large massetlers and large rami where these muscles insert

5 things I have done this past one and a half week

So I've heard a few complaints about the lack of posting. OK, one complaint in fact but writing "a few" makes it look like I have a large number of readers who are upset by the fact that I haven't been posting nearly as frequently as they like.

1. Finished reading Oryx & Crake by Margaret Atwood. This is a huge achievement for me because I haven't been achieving anything lately so comparing to not achieving anything, achieving something is HUGE. Anyhow, Margaret Atwood was my most hated, hated author in year 11 because of a book I had to read, "The Handmaid's Tale". I'm sure I would enjoy that book very much now but at the time not only did I not enjoy the fracking book, I had to write an essay on it in which I had to pretend to like the book. It was hard, I didn't like things that are hard or "challenging" when I'm not good at doing such things in the first place. But Oryx & Crake turned me around. Man oh man, Margaret Atwood has some wicked imagination. Possibly the second best book I've read this year, the best one being Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides. Read it if you have a chance or are interested in the ramification of human playing god through genetic manipulations.

2. I voted. Yeah, I voted before the ballot day. It was a spur-of-the-moment decision. I was with a friend who will be away on the ballot day so she had to mail in her vote. And I was sure of who I want to vote for anyway. At the moment I'm enjoying the campaign ads from both the Lib and the Labour parties. The liberals seem to like to scare people into voting for them. A lot. And the most hilarious campaign ad would be the one from Family First. You know the one which features a group of people with "diverse" backgrounds at a barbecue. And by diverse I mean putting one single Asian in a group of Caucasians. There might have been people from other backgrounds but I didn't spot them because I was busy laughing. The ad basically said that Labour and Liberal are too alike now so there is no point in voting either of them and Family First is the one to vote for. Excuse me but I would rather vote the Greens than any party that emphasises on socially conservatives family values. Or any party that has the word "conservative" in the party name for that matter. I have a serious question after I voted though, would anyone really number in from 1 to 68 on the senate ballot instead of just picking one party?

3. I watched a whole hordes of videos of people's reactions after watching "2 girls 1 cup". What the hell is "2 girls 1 cup" you might ask, a very legitimate question by the way, well, it's an internet fetish video of 2 girls eating each other's shit out of 1 cup and hence the name. Literal shit, human excrement, not the other kind of shit sprouting out from the mouths of politicians humans in the form of words. Judging from the reactions of people watching the video, I think it would be quite sufficient to say that "2 girls 1 cup" is gross. What the hell are these people thinking and what kind of people would find this unhygienic practice erotic or even worth watching? Actually I can answer part of this question. Curious people will find this video worth watching. Curious people who think that ingesting fully digested food mixed with natural flora found in the human digestive tract is revolting and who would later eject the contents of their dinner through their mouth following the viewing of said video. I am one such curious people and I was getting curiouser and curiouser more and more curious with each "reaction videos". Sadly, more like thankfully, I have yet to find the original video. Maybe it's for the best I'm not desperate to watch that foul video anyway. Do not send me a link. I repeat, do not. If you do I wouldn't be able to reign in my curiosity and would probably be scarred for life and be scared away from chicken nuggets for life. Why chicken nuggets? I think they look like poop.

4. I learned to speak Spanish and French.

5. I changed my name.

That's not all but at least that would give you some sort of indication of how "busy" I am at the moment. So until next time, stay safe, don't do drugs especially Caltrate tablets when you're stressed and check back here in a few days, I've got one hilarious Alarmist quote and more hilarity from my grandmother.

P.S. I was joking about learning to speak Spanish and French. I've had quite enough troubles with two languages already, learning more would really frack shit up.

P.P.S. I wasn't joking about number 5.

Who's got iScrewed? Me

Earlier this year I bought myself a new ipod then a month later Apple announced a whole bunch of new iPods. When I found out about that what I thought was "Frack!". Well, I think the specific term for the predicament that I was in is "iScrewed". I didn't come up with that term, MadTV did and they even did a fraking awesome parody that captures the gist of my predicament. Watch it, it's funny I find it funny without caffeine so it's really funny OK.

The original commercial is here and the video of Feist's 1 2 3 4 is here. That is one of my favourite song this year and I liked it before it made it into the stupid iPod ad.

Still on the topic of parody, The Crazy Lecture Note Doodlers suggested that I should watch "The L word" which at the time I thought I might if I have nothing to do. Surprise surprise, I have nothing to do today so I checked out a few clips on youtube. Let me tell ya, that show has got to be the show with the most horrible opening credits ever. I wonder what was going on in the head of whoever that wrote that song, no actually I wonder what drug that person was taking when he/she wrote that song and what drugs the producers were taking when they approve the song for the show. Anyway, I digressed, I stumbled upon a parody of the opening credits of The L Word. It's hilarious. It's one of those instances when 2 very wrongs make 1 so so right.

The Parody


The Original. Watch it and cringe at the horrible song.


And last but not least I know what I want this Christmas: a Tickle Me Emo.

First post of the holiday: B.O.R.I.N.G

So my holiday started on Saturday. I thought I was gonna do a few posts during the weekend but I ended up not doing that. It's kinda funny how when you don't have any time to do anything you wish you have more time to do whatever, and then when you have so much time on your hands you just don't feel like doing anything.

So what have I been doing? I've gotten rid of all the clutters that I've accumulated on my desk. I thought that it would take quite a while but I underestimated the power and efficiency of the "sweep everything into a box in one single move and kick the box under the bed" method of cleaning. I've organised my 50 gig music collection into alphabetical order. And last but not least, I do what I always try to do every holiday, stop drinking coffee and start exercising.

So far it's been boring. I tried to watch "Summer Heights High" since I didn't catch it when it was on TV. I thought I would find it funny but I didn't. The concept might be funny but I just couldn't even chuckle at that show. I can watch it but I just don't find it funny enough to laugh out loud at. I can't even remember the last time I laughed out loud at anything. Oh wait, actually I can. I laughed at that Rudd vs. Howard rap battle and I laughed at these Chinglish signs.





So that's it so far. If you're as bored as me, here's something to cheer you up: perfect summer music. Well, for me at least.

Brand new Alarmist's quote

I've just finished an exam. That's 2 down 3 more freaking aliens to shoot down. If only I have a plasma grenade I'll just kill them with one grenade. Yeah, I've been playing Halo again. It's the best way to kill anxiety. Do you know what happen when you get too much anxiety? You get diarrhoea. I can assure you that is true from personal experience and also from a lecture note from a subject that I've sat an exam on this week. Time to throw those notes into a bin and chuck the bin under my bed.

Anyhow, since I'm busy getting myself anxious over the next 3 exams, here's a brand new Alarmist's quote from today. We were talking about Blogger templates since the Alarmist has just set up a few blogs and she's infatuated with a template she's got off some website.

THE ALARMIST:
Only stupid people use the ugly templates Blogger offers and don't change anything on the template.
ME, THE ANXIOUS:
Yeah, and the less stupid ones use templates some other people offer and not change anything.

Somehow that was a lot funnier when it happened, and I was being sarcastic in the conversation, as usual.