Monday, November 26, 2007

it's not the movies that scare me, it's the damn background music or why the Liberals lost the election

Finally, we won't see Howard as the Prime Minister anymore and we won't ever see Peter Costello as the PM or even the leader of the opposition either. I don't know why but I'm not in a celebratory mood even though I voted for the ALP. I had fun watching the vote counting commentaries though. That was even better than watching .... Damn, I can't even think of anything I've watched recently on TV. Anyway, I had a great time possibly because I wasn't paying attention to the dire situation the Lib were in or the frequent cheering that was going on in the background (possibly from the Lab). I was paying attention on these:

  • Election smiley posters from candidates that were splashed on the screen every now and then whenever their electorates came up. I cracked out laughing at those because seriously all those pictures looked so phoney and they would have done much better not smiling in those pictures.
  • Trying to eat dinner while containing my laughter. This activity demands a lot of concentration.
  • Listening to the Alarmist's commentaries on which commentators have had their teeth whitened (all of them), had a denture (some of them), or had some work done in regards to teeth. She only stayed for a bit though so her commentaries were short and hilarious, albeit irrelevant to the topic being discussed by the commentators and what I was trying to pay attention to - getting food to go down the right pipe.

So the Lib lost, obviously their scare campaign didn't work. What were these guys thinking? Dragging records of interest rates from the 80s out and naming all those "union bosses" in the ALP ranks. The 80s are ancient history to someone who starts voting this year and I don't think many people want to remember the 80s, nobody looked good in whatever they were dressing up in in the 80s. The scare campaign just did not work.

Here's the reason why I think the Lib have lost touch with the voters, they don't know what people are scared of anymore. People aren't scared of union bosses and possible interest rate rises. I'll tell you some of what people (i.e. me, myself & I) are scared of

  • Lost of access to the internet (trust me on this one without the internet, civilisation as we know it will crumble because people lost their daily fix of Facebook, Myspace, Youtube or Yourface or Facespace or whatever new ways clever people dream up to keep in touch with nowadays)
  • Facebook account got suspended (some person got a nervous breakdown after their account was suspended for no reason. Personally, I don't see what's the big deal with Facebook. Does anyone know this because I would love to know)
  • Bittorrent networks go offline.
  • M'n'Ms only come in blue.
  • Vampires, vengeful spirits that walk out of a TV to kill and basically anything horror movie writers cook up these days.

I know it's hard to threaten people that by voting for Labour you will run the risk of getting internet, MyFace or whatever social network, and all the colours of M'n'Ms except blue banned and look credible at the same time so here's my suggestion on how to improve on the Lib's scare campaign: add scary background music.

I know I have been ,sort of, joking around in this post so far but I'm completely serious in this paragraph. Have you ever watched a scary movie without sounds? I have the horror movie turned out to be so funny. Just watch those actors trying to be scared and all those scary characters trying to be menacing without the ominous background music and the sudden loud drums, it's hilarious. I watched the Ring 2 last week without sounds and it was an eye-opening experience on how movies scare people.

So my suggestion to the Liberals is that they take note of the tried-and-true convention of horror movies next time they decide to run a scare campaign.

To a not completely unrelated note, I saw "30 days of night" last week and I was scared and bored by the movie. The scare only lasted for a few seconds and, you guess it, it's not the visuals of people chopping vampires or soon-to-be vampires' heads off, it's the goddamn fracking background music. I was bored the rest of the time I wasn't scared so it's not a good movie. The Alarmist, on the other hand, was scared and horrified. She was scared because of the movie, obviously. She was horrified because the "vampires" had open bites and that will not allow them to rip people's throat out effectively. Not to Vampires movie maker, consult a dentist before you make fake teeth for your vampires or movie goers who are dentists will not take your movie seriously.

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