Tuesday, January 30, 2007

I don't want aspirin - a conversation with Granny.

Do you ever just wonder why it doesn't happen to you that you should do something quite obvious? Well, that happened to me, today. I suddenly realised that I've never really talked about my grandma before

Ok, to be completely honest, what actually happened was the fact that I haven't blogged for more than 7 days (and that's against my resolutions for this year if you're wondering why that's such a big deal, one of these days I'm gonna say "frak resolutions, I'm out of here" but it's not today) and I have absolutely nothing to write about.

Since I'm being completely honest, I do have a few somethings to write about but they're really really boring. For example, today I found out that if I'm a mythical god, I'd be Anubis. And who the hell is Anubis? Well, he's a very important guy.

Anubis was the Egyptian God of funerary rituals and the protector of the dead as well as the judge of souls and ruler of the underworld. Since it was his duty to weigh souls (along with the Goddess Maat) as a means of discovering the content of honesty, Anubis was also the God of truth.

Wow, I must say this is the first time these quizzes get me right. Can you imagine me as the ruler of the underworld? If you want to find out what mythical god you'd be if you're one, head over here. Before you ask, I don't usually frequent those love quizzes websites. I got the link from a Battlestar Galactica board.

Or I can talk about this insane letter I received today telling me that my name is at the top of the waiting list for Oral Surgery at The Royal Dental Hospital of Melbourne. What's insane about it is the fact that I have had the operation already. only 3 months ago, 2 weeks before my second semester exams. No wonder the waiting list at the Dental Hospital is so freaking long. They do their surgeries on the patients twice.

See what I mean? They're completely and utterly (is it a bit redundant to use 'completely' and 'utterly' in one sentence? oh well, what the hell?) boring. So there I was sitting with my screen blank and absolutely nothing to write about, not even a funny youtube video to save the day. And suddenly I remembered this conversation I had with my Grandma. Here's how it went:

(opened the door to my room, sneaked up on me while I was listening to very loud Stabbing Westward music on my kick-ass, 30%-off-boxing-day-sale headphones)
Na*, can you find me some paracetamol?

(recovering from an almost heart attack and barely holding back swearing "Jesus F---ing Christ!")
Sure Gran, one sec.

(after having dug through the medicine cabinet and found anything but Paracetamol)
Gran, I can't find any Paracetamol but I have some Aspirin pH8.

I don't do Aspirin, it's gonna burn my stomach.

I'm sure this won't burn your stomach, it's pH8.

(probably thinking what a useless space-wasting ass I was)
Yes it will. I'll just wait until your mum comes home.

(happily retreat back to my room and even louder Stabbing Westward music)

That's the conversation. Not a verbatim version of the conversation though coz the actual conversation was in Vietnamese and my grandma doesn't talk teenage-style. See, [sarcasm] we were great conversationalists, communication really brings harmony to the family [/sarcasm].

Ok, I'm turning off sarcastic mode. The truth is I can't stand my grandma sometimes, make it most of the time, and that conversation is one of the example why. I could have launched into a lengthy explanation of why normal aspirin will cause discomfort if you take it on an empty stomach since it's an acid and aspirin pH8 won't because it's basic. However, that would mean explaining to my grandma, who is in her mid-nineties, about the pH system and that would mean I have to reason with her. If you know my grandma like I do, she's an unreasonable kind of lady most of the time.

Even if I did explain everything to her she wouldn't have believed me. However she won't have any problem believing what somebody from her church group tells her. I swear she'd drink the aspirin pH8 without asking any question if someone from a church group tells her that it's safe. Something similar happened to us before. Some lady told my Grandma that there's this plant that would help lower your blood pressure if you chew them raw or something. After a few kilograms of the stuff my "skeptical" Grandma's blood pressure sky rocketed. I guess the desired effect of the stuff is to increase your blood pressure astronomically then lower it down by a teeny tiny bit.

That does say something about trust though. My grandma has problems trusting me, a member of her family, while she has no qualms about trusting a stranger. How does that work, Gran? Oh well, she asked for help, I tried, she didn't accept it, so be it.

* what my family members use to call me.

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