Wednesday, April 25, 2007

the funniest shit I've found so far

Oh god, can there be anything funnier than love god's way? It's a Christian site against what's "bad" (read can potentially turn your kids gay) on the internet.

What started me laughing was CHOPS. CHOPS stands for Christian Homosexuals On Painkillers, just joking, CHOPS stands for Changing Homosexuals into Ordinary People. My take on the abbreviation makes more sense than the actual name I reckon. But anyhow, the band name cracked me up so bad. But that's not what makes this site so fun.

The laugh continued as I read their "gay bands" list. According to this list I might be gay just because I listen to the following bands/artists: Rufus Wainwright, Tegan and Sara, Metallica, Panic! At the Disco...

The list cracked me up and the way they justify the list cracked me up even more

  • Elton John(really gay)
  • Britney Spears(kissed Madonna)
  • The Cure (makeup)
  • Ted Nugent (loincloth)
  • George Michael (texan)
  • Marilyn Manson (dark gay)
  • The Spores (endorse suicide)

  • Jesus, you make the list just because you wear loincloth instead of pants?? And what the hell is dark gay? Since the "gay list" was such a hoot, I went on to the "safe list" and they've got one of my favourite bands in the safe list: The Dresden Dolls. Now I'm confused, The Cure and The Spores are blacklisted because they wear makeup and endorse suicide how come The Dresden Dolls are on the safe list?

    Have these people listened to any of the Dresden Dolls' songs or even seen a picture of the band ever?

    Yes, they're wearing makeup. Run kids coz they're gonna turn you gay.

    After I finished laughing, I started thinking. I think that this website is a big fat joke on the Christian folks. Really, they've got this quote from Oscar Wilde on their page. Everybody knows that Oscar Wilde is as gay as [insert name of the gayest person you know]. And they claim that he's a "reformed homosexual". I don't know about the reformed bit though. All I know is, he got thrown in jail for being gay, lost his money and all that, when he got out of jail he was practically bankrupt, then he died 2 years later. My point is, people remember Oscar Wilde as that gay author who got thrown into jail, and not as an ex-gay.

    A closer look at the list gives me more doubts about this site. They've got Eminem on the gay list and Eminem is homophobic. Or at least I think it's Eminem, they've got Eminmen on the list instead of Eminem.

    But then they've got some bands right though. I know this girl who were straight in year 12 and she's the biggest fan of Queen I know of. She was gay last year. I used the past tense because she might have been just trying to get her "university experience". You know girls usually turn gay when they're in uni and then turn straight when they finish uni. I've never felt that urge if you're thinking about asking.

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