Easter

Being born in a Catholic family, you can't help but know what is Easter all about. No it has nothing to do with Easter Bunny or chocolate. It has a lot to do with that Mel Gibson's movie "the Passion". I saw that movie 2 or 3 years ago and I must say coming out of the movie theater that day I felt like I was blessed. Not to say that I don't feel blessed now but I don't feel like a Catholic either. I had my crisis of faith, if you can call it that because it has a lot to do with what the bible says, in year 11. All thanks to that book "the handmaid's tale" by Margaret Atwood. I didn't even finish the book but it did shake my foundation a bit, hell, a lot. Apart from making me question the bible, that book turned me agains dystopia novels. They make me feel uncomfortable.
Ok, back to the topic of Easter. I think I should say I believe there is not God. The universe began with the Big Bang. Before that? We, the universe, was a lump of unstable material(s). Even if there is a God, how can we know that he is the Catholic God or any other religions' Gods? And why does God must have the shape of a man, I mean a Male Homo Sapiens, can't God be a female?
Easter is a time of reflection and I did some today. May be this is the best Easter in my life so far. All the previous Easter was spent half-heartedly attending church services that I hate.

To another Easter related topic. Is Judas a hero? I heard on the radio a few days back that some archeologist found a bible according to Judas. In it, Judas was described as the "hero" because without Judas, Jesus wouldn't be crucified. Talking about painting a flattering picture of yourself. It might be the same with all the other bible versions according to the other disciples. They might be telling the same story but they might have other ulterior motives also, something petty like making them look good for all eternity? Hell, I'm becoming cynical