Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Bible babble


Luke 14:26
Whoever comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and even life itself, cannot be my disciple.
Therefore to be a disciple, you have to hate everyone and everything including life itself. Am I reading the bible or some terrorist groups' manual?



Isaiah 13:13-16
Therefore I will make the heavens tremble,
and the earth will be shaken out of its place,
at the wrath of the Lord of hosts
on the day of his fierce anger.
Like a hunted gazelle,
or like sheep with no one to gather them,
all will turn to their own people,
and all will flee to their own lands.
Whoever is found will be thrust through,
and whoever is caught will fall by the sword.
Their infants will be dashed to pieces
before their eyes;
their houses will be plundered,
and their wives ravished.
Let's praise the Lord because he's soooo merciful



Deut 22:13-21
Suppose a man marries a woman, but after going in to her, he dislikes her and makes up charges against her, slandering her by saying, 'I married this woman; but when I lay with her, I did not find evidence of her virginity.' The father of the young woman and her mother shall then submit the evidence of the young woman's virginity to the elders of the city at the gate. The father of the young woman shall say to the elders: 'I gave my daughter in marriage to this man but he dislikes her; now he has made up charges against her, saying, "I did not find evidence of your daughter's virginity." But here is the evidence of my daughter's virginity.' Then they shall spread out the cloth before the elders of the town. The elders of that town shall take the man and punish him; they shall fine him one hundred shekels of silver (which they shall give to the young woman's father) because he has slandered a virgin of Israel. She shall remain his wife; he shall not be permitted to divorce her as long as he lives.

If, however, this charge is true, that evidence of the young woman's virginity was not found, then they shall bring the young woman out to the entrance of her father's house and the men of her town shall stone her to death, because she committed a disgraceful act in Israel by prostituting herself in her father's house. So you shall purge the evil from your midst.
And let's praise the Lord for his word is fair, for men only.


Tim 2:11-12
Let a woman* learn in silence with full submission. I permit no woman* to teach or to have authority over a man;* she is to keep silent.
The Lord is also a male chauvinist


Lev 20:13
If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall be put to death; their blood is upon them.
And a homophobe to top it all


Ex 21:20-21
When a slave-owner strikes a male or female slave with a rod and the slave dies immediately, the owner shall be punished. But if the slave survives for a day or two, there is no punishment; for the slave is the owner's property
Who promotes slavery and cruelty towards slaves



Deut 25:11-12
If men get into a fight with one another, and the wife of one intervenes to rescue her husband from the grip of his opponent by reaching out and seizing his genitals, you shall cut off her hand; show no pity.
Seems like the Bible has a rule for everything. If your wife stop a fight to save your ass by grabbing the other man's genitals, she shall have her hand cut off. What if she grabs somewhere else? Is there a rule for that?



Ex 35:2
For six days shall work be done, but on the seventh day you shall have a holy sabbath of solemn rest to the Lord; whoever does any work on it shall be put to death.
A bit harsh I suppose, capital punishment for working and not wasting time worshipping some imaginary god!

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