Tuesday, July 03, 2007

What happens when anyone can write a dictionary entry

Hilarious chaos, that what happens. I was at Urban Dictionary today, intended to look up a word but ended up looking through some hilarious definitions. I never knew the term "Pussycat dolls" means "A group of whores who have destroyed any hope of raising children who won't grow up to be strippers" or the term "paris hilton" has as many meanings as:

(1) in physiology, to have an unusually small gluteus maximus
(2) hips unable to bear children
(3) jaundice
(4) anorexia
(5) a person who is only attractive to another person (sexually or no) for their ability to dress like a skank and their daddy's money (pimp or biological)
(6) no intellectual ability whatsoever
(7) ex girlfriend of and ex boy band member
(8) someone who features prominently on internet porn
(9) a person who does not worry about money ie. i person who buys excessive amounts of designer labels in order to be fashionable
(10) what is affectionately known of as a pub skank, white hair, orange skin and pointy features and who wears skirts that double as belts and stillettos that drill holes in concrete floors...
(11) fucking annoying
This is the best dictionary ever, contributors even give you examples of how you can use the terms. For instance, here's the example for the term "paris hilton" above:
She had a pair of paris hiltons, her first baby had a squashed head, her second had a bad case of paris hilton, and her third developed paris hilton syndrome in her teens. luckily she was a paris hilton, but some found her very fucking paris hilton.
I never knew a "Celine Dion" is "the only thing for which most Canadians apologize to America for on a daily basis" either. Or "Fergie" is both a noun and a verb as in:

1. (to be a Fergie) To be the token white girl or boy in a group of black origin. (not just in a musical context)

2. (to pull a Fergie) To think you can sing, yet when faced with a live performance, the other members have to keep you afloat because you're so bad.

3. (to be a Fergie) To be dog-ugly, really, actually look like a dog.

4. (to Fergie on) To completely destroy the credibility and respect a group once had or replace a greater former member (s).

1. Why the fuck is she hanging with us? We a black crew, she the only white girl, what a fuckin' Fergie!

2. Did you see Ciara perform "Goodies" last night? Damn, the girl hot as, but she pulled a Fergie fo sho!

3. I was nearly sick! She a Fergie if I ever saw one!

4. I used to be feelin' Destiny's Child, but Michelle just Fergied on them.

Oh well, you know the saying that goes something along the lines of you learn something new everyday.

This just goes to show me that people are opinionated creatures. We might not want to confront other people to their faces but we really love to have our opinion known. And reading other people arguing with one another over whose opinion is right is always fun. Take the "divided" opinion of the online world on Metacritic over Kevin Federline's debut album for instance. The album itself is infamous on Metacritic, it's the album that scores the lowest mark ever in Metacritic's short history. What drew me to read about it is the users' ratings and comments. Here's a screenshot of the most entertaining comments (click for bigger view):
I need to go off the topic here for a minute to say this: I hate people who don't spell correctly. You can say that I'm a bit anal about spellings. If you can't spell correctly, at the very least use Firefox. It's got spell checking, it's small and it's free.

Ok, back to the topic. Not everyone gave it a big fat red zero though. Look who's giving it a nice green 10.
But then Mr. Federline himself came back up and gave this glowing review:
Britney Spears also came back up and gave this updated review (probably after signing the divorce papers, shaving off her hair and joining a cult. Not necessarily in the order I typed out)
Which is what I ask myself every single time I read comments on blog posts from other people's blogs (I'd love to say from my blog also but, reality check, I don't get any comments). I guess you'll never know what other people's gonna type these days, as long as you have an internet connection and can speak and write English (to an extent considering the amount of wrong spellings on comments and blog posts these days) you can make your onion opinion known.

Bonus Links:
More definitions on Paris Hilton, Pussycat Dolls, Avril Lavigne, Celine Dion, Fergie.
More hilarious user reviews for K-Fed's "Playing with fire"

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