How to be positive

Back in July last year I did this post on ... well, I'm not sure what it was on actually. It got started because of an article about angry atheists then I moved on to talk about North Korea and Israel. I ended up talking about the-glass-is-half-full blogs. The strange thing is that was the most searched for post I've ever written.

If you're expecting some literary masterpiece then don't click on the link to that post. The post was awful, even the synopsis I gave above sounds bad. What attracts people to that post was the phrase "how to be positive". If I'm one of those really negative people who got the link to that post I would probably put my blog in the never-ever-visit-this-blog-again list. I don't suppose anyone find any positive help from my tip on being positive. I wasn't trying to intentionally direct search engine results to my blog, here's one example when I was actually trying to achieve that feat.

To rectify that fortuitous manipulation of my dear friend Google, here's the real tip to be positive straight from the 3vil g3nius: look elsewhere, preferably real professional help. If you're thinking "no can do" then I suggest Nine Inch Nails music, that has always been my negativeness-bane ever since I discovered NIN. It wouldn't make you feel extremely positive though, just less negative.

I did try to do a simple dot point list at the start of last month when I borrowed this stack of self-help books to read. One thing I learn from that experience: self-help books don't help with anything except wasting time. The pieces of wisdom on how to be positive I got from those books are:
- Think positively
- Don't think negatively
- Happiness is only a state of mind
- Do things that make you happy
- Tomorrow is a new day

My response to all those? DUUH! It's kinda hard to think positively or not think negatively when you're depressed to the point of slashing your wrists and say "goodbye cruel world", is it not? And the umpteenth examples of how slightly depressed people, whose names have been changed to protect their identities, overcame their negativeness do not help with anything. Me thinks those people are just figments of the authors' collective imagination.

After reading all those books, or rather the first 2 books and skimming through the rest of those extremely similar books I can say that the experience is positively negative and that I will never ever venture near a self-help book again. And now if you would excuse me, I'm feeling a negativeness-attack coming so I'm gonna need some NIN music on immediately.