ancillary labels for lecturers

I think lecturers should have ancillary labels for a few reasons:

• So that students know what to expect
• So that students can just stuff themselves with books at home instead of dragging their bums into the lecture theatres and be bored to dead there
• I'm going crazy studying for midyear exams so I'm entitled to rant a bit about ancillary labels

Ok, I've think up some ancillary labels for some lecturers that I won't name. Unlike my mentor who told us who's the most boring lecturer of first year so that we can skip his/her lectures.
The following apply to those extremely boring lecturers:

• This lecturer may cause sleepiness and may increase the effect of alcohol. If affected, do not drive a motor vehicle or operating machinery.
• This lecturer can be used to aid sleep.
• This lecturer replaces your sleeping pills. Do not take both.
• Adjust your caffeine intake before taking lectures by this lecturer.

The following apply to the good lecturers:

• Do not stop taking this class abrubtly. Might have an effect on your undestanding.
• Take on a full stomach [so that you can think]