Here's looking at YOU!

There is a free afternoon newspaper called mX. Everyone who rides the sardine cans from the city reads this because they don't want to stare at the person sitting in front of them. It's not a very good newspaper if you ask me but who cares? Anyway, mX has been running this "Here's looking at you" columns for people who wants to hook up with random people they see on the train because they find said random people beautiful, cute, has Kate Moss looks, etc. but are too shy to walk up and talk to them in person, and thus has to rely on a free publication to broadcast their message to the general masses in hope of reaching the intended target. I'm ripping mX off and doing my own "Here's looking at YOU!" for people who I find generally annoy the fuck out of me on the train. So here goes the first edition of "Here's looking at YOU!"

To the obese man who got on the train at Parliament station only to get off at Jolimont. I know everyone including you wants to get home fast but can you display some sensibility and NOT get yourself into an already packed carriage next to me. You have plenty of padding but I don't, you almost squeeze all the air out of me during that 3 minute ride. Please don't ever get near me again.